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Petty Pet Peeve

How do you feel about people who come to your blog, leave a plea for you to come and read their post, but never bother reading or commenting about the post they left the comment on?

I call them spammers.

I have two that visit me regularly and I am getting ready to feed them to Akismet.  The only reason I haven’t done so yet is because they also visit some of you.  I find it very difficult to be civil with them in the comments.  I am not certain who needs the most correction, them or me.

Thoughts?

70 Comments

  2. I would feed them! I also don’t return visits to people like that. (Of course, lately I don’t return visits to MANY people… including the ones I really WANT to visit!) No… I do not ALWAYS comment on a post I’ve read… but say sOMething so people know I’ve stopped by. (sometimes a post doesn’t really invite a comment… you know what I mean?) Sometimes I get sO excited to TELL something that I forget to comment ABOUT the post… that happens! But no… people who consistently stop by and say “come visit my blog”… NO! Go visit your own blog! (awwwww…. I shouldn’t BE like that should I?)

    1. Ah but Melli, these girls are friends with several of my regular commenters. And I am talking about people who come and say, “Hi, I’m sponsoring a meme, come play!” And leave their link — every time they come by.

  3. Like Melli. I may not always remember to comment exactly on the content of the post itself, but I think you’re talking about people who regularly do that and their only comment is to leave a plea or even a link back to their site. That isannoying. I don’t know why they don’t realize people see that as not a real comment but rather just attention-gathering.

    I usually just ignore them, but if it is a regular thing I would be tempted to spam them, or possibly just delete their comment (they’re probably not the type to come back and check to see if anyone commented on their comment).

    I have the same struggle with people who leave what looks like a real comment, but their url is a business (as opposed to a spammer whose comment is totally unrelated, full of links, etc.). I don’t maintain a blog to provide free advertising to just anyone who comes by, but then I argue with myself about whether that’s what they’re after.

    But the people you’re talking about — yeah, they are just trying to garner visits back to their blog rather than meaningfully interacting. I wouldn’t blame you if you marked them as spam.

      1. Your comment is just fine Barbara. And I am talking about the people who are wholly and always about self-promotion. I call them rude and selfish.

  4. Well, I think since my blog is focused on photography, I really haven’t encountered the situation you’re describing.

    But that is quite rude to do what you’ve written about. Rude indeed!

  5. When I get someone new comment on my blog, I will put their blog into my google reader, then I try to make a point of reading and commenting. It’s hard sometimes though if they write about something I’m not very familiar with, or I don’t agree with but that rarely happens.

  6. I’d have to go back and figure out who/what you are referring to… and I’m barely breathing this month! But to just stop by and say, hey, come read what I posted — yes, that would rub me the wrong way.

  7. The bloggers who flit around the Internet with some kind of advanced case of blogging ADHD are the ones who perturb me. They swing by for about 2 secs, say they’re dropping by from SITS or something, then fly away. They are a human form of spam, no doubt about it. I’m not sure some of us on in the blogosphere really know what it’s all about…

    1. Melissa — I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it would likely annoy me to. Those copy and paste, one-size-fits-all comments irk me big time.

  8. I’m with you. And I like the way you call it for what it is: a ‘comment’ is about the post it’s attached to; ‘spam’ is all about the other person’s link. It surprises me that people do that without seeing how rude or self-centric it looks.

    This is exactly the reason I’m very close to dropping a meme I’ve been doing for a year now — too many participants come by these days who only leave a very vague short comment like “That was great” followed by a long look-at-me blurb about their own post and the a link to it. So how inclined do I really feel then, to visit their blog and leave a comment that shows I even read their post at all? Not very! And yes, I’m tempted to delete the comment too, because ‘scuse me, that ain’t ad space, it’s for feedback and community. Or so I thought.

    Good topic to bring up — I have a feeling you’ll touch a nerve in more than one fellow commenter!!

      1. ROFL!!
        Uh… yeah!
        and grrrr…..

        I’ve run through a number of ways I could deal with it:

        1. go to their blog and leave the comment “Dude, stop spamming my blog”
        2. reply directly to the comment in my comments, with “what a crappy thing to do, spam-face”
        3. post a brief story (oh, say, no more than 56 words or so) about how rude and meaningless it is to do such a thing.
        4. post a note *after* my story saying “all comments that don’t actually *comment*, but only spam, will be deleted and then publicly shamed in my next post, very likely with custom-drawn cartoons that won’t be very flattering to you.”

        And then I realise I’ve already wasted too much time overthinking it, so I should just do the graceful thing and bow out entirely — especially when (as you point out to Church Lady) these folks are part of a community where I really like some of the people, and certainly don’t want to alienate the whole crowd, so they’re ‘friends of friends’. That makes it sticky…

        Anyhow, pass the Kahlua and I’ll probably post a story soon (say tomorrow or the er, next day…) called “the Case of the Crappy Commenters”
        😛

        1. i think i’ll start a meme where you list 5 things you like about blogging and then list 5 pet peeves about blogging.

          1. Amanda, you’re only making me do it ROFL but the challenge is getting the message across without sounding too mean. Not easy!

            Nessa, I love that idea. I have to admit I wonder what my own transgressions are that I don’t even realise. I’m not as good at returning comments as I’d like to be, and I’m working on that.

            Quilly thanks for bringing this topic up – I think it’s a little thorn in the side for a lot of us but we just don’t know what to do about it really.

        3. This reminds me … when I was a new blogger and people would spam my blog, I would copy and paste EXACTLY what they left in MY blog and then go leave the same thing in THEIR blog! THAT seemed to make a point! 🙂

  9. I’m surprised a book has not been written yet on blogging etiquette. This incident would definitely fall under a “blogging no no”. Thankfully, I have not encountered this yet on my site. A few businesses drop in from time to time and sometimes someone from China or Japan will leave me a comment I can’t even read. I usually delete them.

  10. There are 2 people who leave very brief comments and then their URL at the bottom. Not much substance to their visit, but it really doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t prompt me to comment about their comment, but I just let it go.

    1. Linda – -they are friends of friends. I am hoping this post solved the problem. They haven’t left any self-promotion on it.

  12. They give me a sour feeling in my stomach.

    I tend to ignore them after a while, they don’t come back when you don’t go there.

    1. Nicole — well, we are in a couple of memes together — and even then they don’t comment on my post. They just tell me about theirs.

  13. I really agree that there should be mutual connection to make a bond, and the main topic on a blog or post should be about the host. Not the visitor. I’m sure the feeling would be the same, if it was reversed the other way. You can feel someone’s heart through their comments and posts. May be that’s why we can relate to some persons more than to others. Like Melli, I do forget sometimes to comment about the post in excitement and don’t visit from time to time with reasons in real life. But, not constantly. Well, at least I hope so. This is also a reason why I haven’t been participating in memes lately. I find it kind of selfish to participate in them just to add your link and don’t bother to visit other participants.

    I never had a visitor who always refers to him/herself. May be short comments, but not links. It’s okay with me. The short comments, I mean. But strangers who leave comments with a business link that are not even related to my posts get deleted without further thoughts.

    1. Rosidah — I can’t always visit every participant in a meme, but I make it a point to double check that I have visited everyone who visited me.

      1. I read your reply to Nicole and can see why you feel so irked. Hopefully this ignorance wasn’t made intentionally and your post will give a better understanding.

        You’re right about always visiting all meme participants. Sometimes I wish that I could visit all the links before me.

  14. Oh Q you gotta let me know who they are. This is nothing new to anyone that has a blog. That’s why I hate those blog hop things with a passion. I don’t have hardly any that leave a comment with a business URL and if they do it gets deleted when I click on their name and that’s where it takes me. You know I’ve got my only little group and I get the same people time and time again and that just is the way I like it. I very rarely follow anyone wiht Mr. Linky unless the comment on mine but I do do what you do and make sure that I comment on everyone who comments on my blog. And I can’t tell you how many I comment on that NEVER or RARELY comment on my blog. Why I do that is beyond me. I need my head examined in that department. But I will say the people I’m close with if they don’t comment on my blog every day that’s fine by me. They mean well and usually always do and there may be some stuff in my post that they don’t like. I understand that. There is a meme that goes around that I don’t care for an I wont comment on anyone that does it. Oh Q please let me know who it is LOL I need to juciy gossip to tickle my fancy.

  15. I enjoyed reading the comments as much as your post. I have only received such commenters once or twice, but I if it would be regularly I would delete them. They´re using your blog for free “advertising space”. Or maybe you should charge… 🙂

  17. Yes, I have come across those – mostly on my photoblog and when participating in a meme. I used to return a visit (through gritted teeth) just to be polite, but found every one of them to be mostly boring blogs &/or photos. I wished I had the nerve to tell them what I really thought of their photo, but I don’t think they are looking for intellectual criticism that would help their blogging and photographic skills.
    Now, I just grit my teeth and ignore them. They seem too desperate to me.

  18. i leave my link in comments. several people have said they find it useful and time saving, but i hope i leave comments that are pertinent to the post i’m visiting even though they may be short.

    only one person expressed a dislike of the link back, but we don’t care about HER opinion.

    Sensational Haiku Wednesday – Dreams

    1. Nessa — your link is not offensive to me. You have been with me since the conception of my blog. You leave thoughtful and intelligent and/or witty comments on a regular basis. I’m gripping about those. “Thanks for sharing, come visit ALL of my blogs,” and then links for several posts.

      1. you do say the sweetest things but i wanted it to be about me! everything is about me!

        🙂

        i love that your blog is always so lively.

  19. I do most of my “reading” through google reader so I don’t always make it over to a blog to actually respond. When someone comments on my blog, i try to respond to her in an email but sometimes there’s no email address. I guess I’m saying I’m a good reader but not such a good commenter or a thank you for the comment commenter!

    1. Cathy — I try to be a good commenter and a good thanker — but I thank people here in my own post, so the conversation stays where it started. Some people return to read it. Some don’t.

  20. I try to leave comments but I am bad about returning feedback on comments left for me. One blogger I know just leaves her name or a couple of words to let you know that she had been by. I hate it when bloggers leave a comment and you try to respond and there’s no email address.

    1. Thena — I always respond right here. Then if people want to know my answer they can look for it – -or not. It’s their choice and I don’t have to chase them down.

  21. OK, here’s a related situation: what do you do when someone leaves a legitimate comment and leaves not one link back like Nessa was talking about, but four!? Askimet on WordPress automatically puts anything with two or more links in the spam or “please moderate” queue. I have one there now, someone who comments on a few friends’ blogs, so I knew she’s legit. But I don’t think even one link back is necessary: if you leave your site link in the info. (with your name and e-mail address), people can get back to you without your having to leave a link back to your specific post within your comment. But to leave four just seems a little self-promotional to me. And, like you said, if she wasn’t friends with friends I’d just leave her comment there. But is it a breach of blog etiquette to publish her comment but delete her links?

    1. Barbara — send them a note, explain about your awesome and discriminatory spam blocker, and tell them that if they want their comments to show they will have to choose just one link. 😉

  22. I think it’s fine for folks to give a little self promotion, such as saying they are sponsoring a meme as noted in the comments above. Howver not even bothering to read the post and just doing it to build a link is truly comment spamming. I try to live by the rule if I don’t have a comment about the post then it is just proper ettiquette to not comment. If you need some love, then at least have the courtesy to read the post and make a comment about it’s content BEFORE you self promote.

    Hope you made the point you were hoping for, and hope you’r doing well Quilly.

    1. Ian – -that was my point. Thanks. I think it interesting that neither of the ladies in question has left a comment here!

  23. It can’t be me, because I never invite somebody to read my ponderings ! I don’t follow invitations neither only if I want to. After all we are living in democracy and I always only did what I wanted ! Just ignore or send to hell where it’s warm !

  24. Quilly I am sorry you’re getting spammed so much I have been lucky mine are mainly ad blogs and junk stuff so I have no problem cutting ties and hitting delete. My big pet peeve is when you visit someone weekly for a meme or even daily and they never ever ever pay back the visit, then I just give up and don’t go back (makes me sad) but what else can you do?
    I know you’ll come up with the right solution for this!
    ((((hugs))))

  26. I stopped doing a photo meme for a similar reason — people who I visited had obviously only posted a photo so they could get traffic to their “commercial” site where they promoted whatever product they were selling.

    Blottiquite — I think there’s a book waiting for you to write it, Q!

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  28. Honestly, I am so glad I read this … first and foremost, NOW , I understand WHAT exactly you mean… I think I was a spammer? OMG… I am so SO SORRY. Think ever since I join these memes… I try to go and see EVERYONE … most times, running out of things to say, you know. Sometimes, I do not quite get what they say either especially poetry. I just started commenting since last year when I return to blogging . I only met some of you very recently, what a truly amazing and refreshing group of people and I really do appreciate the obvious love amongst you , I am humbled. If I do spam again, if you are my friend, PLEASE REMIND ME? NO… SPAM ME BACK , with a sarcastic note, I will NOTICE. lol Seriously I am so sorry. Honestly I am . Say you will forgive me? It was me right? hugs, shakira

    1. Yes, you’re forgiven! I know the problem of running out of things to say. For your friends, you can even say, “Help me out here,I don’t get it!” Being clueless isn’t a bad thing, especially in this circle.

      1. OMG … Quilly, I read all NOT all, the comments, NOW , I am SO EMBARRASSED. LOL… Thank you for your emails and reminding me. I truly appreciate it . hugs,shakira

  29. You’ve brought the issue out into the light..thank you for that! I went as far as suggesting these “comment spammers” to use the URL option if they want to lead me to their specific post, but it didn’t work!

    Yours pet peeve is also mine, and many others who don’t like to see those extra links..

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