Late Breaking News From the Olympics

Here’s an Olympics Games story out of Vancouver that not many people have heard.*

Jurji Fusek and his friend Andre Kempny traveled together to Canada to watch the Olympic games.  The fact that Andre was from the Czech Republic and Jurji was Austrian had never been a problem in their ten year friendship, but at the Winter Games all their national pride came bubbling to the surface.  No one knows exactly what started their argument,  but everyone in the bar agrees that Jurji let out a yell, jumped from his seat and pulled Andre from his own chair.

Jurji shook Andre like a doll. Andre threw a right cross and sent Jurgi sprawling across a table.  Jurgi grabbed a shot glass and hurdled it at Andre, who ducked.  The glass shattered the mirror behind the bar.  The two men were shouting curses in their own native tongues and German as well.  Andre grabbed a chair and sung it at  Jurgi.

Jurgi grabbed the chair and jerked Andre toward him.  Andre took a wild swing and clipped Jurgi upside the head.  The two of them fell onto the chair and it splintered beneath them. Jurgi gained his feet first and grabbed Andre, bouncing him off the wall twice before tossing him out the door and into the street.

Silence filled the bar.  Every eye in the place was on Yurgi. The bartender was the first to speak.  “Some one is going to have to pay for this,” he said, motioning toward the broken furniture and scattered glass.

“But of course,” Jurgi said.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.  “You will take bank draft, yes?”

“No,” the bartender said. “I have proof your credit is no good.”

“What proof?”  Jurgi yelled.

The bartender pointed toward the door and answered, “I saw that Czech you just bounced!”

Because she wants us to laugh a little every weekend, Shakira of, You Are Never Alone, hosts the Weekend Funnies meme. Shakira says she doesn’t care if we make up our own memes or post some of those endless jokes that fill our email boxes. She just wants us to share a bit of laughter while visiting each other on the net. Check out Shikira’s blog for the other players and come laugh with us.

*Oh.  The reason that not many people have heard this story is because I just now made it up.

29 thoughts on “Late Breaking News From the Olympics

    • Grrr — Linda — that’s what happens when one modifies the story too many times. Originally I set the fight at the Summer games as an old news story, then I decided I wanted it to sound much more immediate, so I switched my mindset, but forgot the switch my text!

  1. Oh dear… AWESOME! You really can spin a tale! Great job. Always enjoy an original joke.
    I can so relate to how both felt about National Pride! I never even knew mine existed until i was at events which PROMOTE National Pride… strange. I remember insisting that I am a Malaysian Chinese and not Chinese from China. LOL.
    Thank you for joining this week. Great to have you this week.
    Looking forward to another next week?
    Have you a bless weekend!
    hugs
    shakira

    • Doug — Winter, indeed. It would take more spqce to tell the tale of the story revisions then the tale is worth. Suffice it to say I started in a ball park and morphed to the bar and forgot to change a couple of details along the way.

      o_O is “oh” in a low note followed by “oh” in a high note. As in “oh, OH!”

  2. ROFMLAO! i bet the row was about ski jumping 😉
    definitely a groaner!

    well, of course the ‘friends’ would curse in german – ater all, it is the official language in austria

    • Polona — ah, yes, but not the primary language my only Austrian friend spoke, though I can’t for the life of me remember what her first language was. She moved to American when she was a teen and now speaks primarily English and German, but the German is more thanks to school than constant use. I am glad I made you laugh though.

      • in that case she must have belonged to one of the ethnic minorities… hungarian? czech? slovene? not that it really matters, of course 😉

    • Melli — is one of your legs now longer than the other? 😉

      I had this punch line for three days before I finally came up with the perfect story to showcase it.

  3. Ba Dum Dum! *symbol clash*
    Very cute I have never in my life entertained though thought of writing a joke I cannot even pass them on properly. You just have hidden talents everywhere! So what is next?

    • Amanda — I didn’t know I could write jokes until Thom brow beat me into Playing 55 Friday Flash Fiction. Now that I have figured it out, it’s pretty easy. Start with the punchline, and work backwards.

  4. Haha! This is great! Very creative 🙂

    I was blessed with the great opportunity to attend a couple events at these last Olympics in Vancouver and I miss them all ready 🙂

    • I live just a ferry ride away and did not get to go, but it is because we were just moving here from Hawaii and it would have been too much, too crazy to try.

      • That is a lot. My family and I had purchased speed skating (short track) tickets a year previous in the lottery purchase thing a year previous and then I also had a ticket to the dress rehearsal for the Opening Ceremonies which I received because a few friends of mine were working at the Olympics (Zamboni drivers)

        I really like your blog by the way 🙂 Will explore more soon haha. I just bookmarked it 🙂

  5. Quilly ~

    I’m sure it was a blessing to all when silence filled the bar. Creative writing at its best! (And no, that wasn’t an April Fool’s Day joke).

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