I am getting older. I can tell this not because of what my mirror tells me; I don’t spend much time with my mirror. I can tell this not because of what my aches and pains tell me; they are still petty annoyances for the most part. I can tell this not because of the color of my hair; Clariol started taking care of that long before I had gray to cover.
I can tell I am getting old because of my attitudes.
I disapprove of the neighbor children throwing rocks into the tree to get the mangoes down, yet once I was a child who might have done such a thing (although it is more likely I would have climbed the tree).
I disapprove of cars that pass me when I am driving 65 miles an hour in the 55 mile an hour zone. They’re going to get somebody killed. It might be me. Yet once in my youth I leaned out of a car going 80 miles an hour to knock on the window of another car and tell them that blinkers were invented for a reason (perhaps I have always been cranky).
I disapprove of the neighbor’s music in my home. If he can’t keep it in his own home, he shouldn’t be allowed to have it. Yet once, when I was a teen, my friends mother cut the plug off the stereo cord because we would not keep the music at a level she deemed reasonable.
I disapprove of children pushing and shoving and splashing and dunking one another in the pool when I am also subject to these happenings; yet once I was a child who relished just that type of play.
I disapprove of the kid doing back flips from the edge of the pool into the water. He could have slipped and cracked his head open. Yet for many, many summers of my childhood I did those same kind of backflips and never once hit my head.
I disapprove of just about anything that I don’t care to be bothered with, which means I disapprove of my own disapproval. Yet I don’t want to be known as ThatCrankyLadyinApartmentC. I need to relax a bit and lighten up. My body has to grow older, (I disapprove of the other option), but my attitudes don’t. I need to do less disapproving and more enjoying. The next time the neighbor kids are outside throwing rocks, I am going to join them …..