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Assorted Silliness

Wal-Mart Weirdness:

My senior neighbor does not have a car. Shortly after I moved in I realized that she walked once per week the half mile to Wal-Mart, bought her groceries, then wheeled them home in her little folding cart. Being a good neighbor I now drive her to and from the store once per week. Having me and my car at her disposal should have widened her shopping horizons, but she wishes to go only to the Super Wal-Mart. Period. So, that is where I took her tonight.

I have a certain “look” about me. I don’t exactly know what it is, but I know I have it because people come and ask me the strangest things. I was waiting for Joan as she compared packages of hamburger and this woman walked up to me (I was wearing shorts, a yellow t-shirt and flip-flops). She said, “Tomorrow is my son’s birthday,” and she pointed at a young man about 10. “He has asked for steak for his birthday and I have never purchased steak. What should I buy?” I directed her to the butcher. She responded, “Oh no. I don’t want to bother him.” I told her, “Ma’am, I don’t work here.” She said, “That’s just rude. I’m reporting you to the manager!”

Joan and I moved on to dairy goods. A lady in a motorized wheel chair rolled up to me. “Excuse me,” she said. I respond to her while smiling brightly and anticipating being asked to hand something down from a shelf. Instead she says, “I’ve lost my tall husband. Have you seen him?” There are many things I want to respond to this query. None of them seem appropriate. Finally, valiantly restraining my grin, I say, “Ma’am, I have no idea what your husband looks like.” She snaps back, “I just told you he’s tall. What are you, stupid?”

Apparently so. I keep acknowledging people in Wal-Mart when they speak to me.

And a Bit of Sweet Brandi:

My adorable nine year-old friend, Brandi (she’s been in my Sunday School class since she was 4), came to school with me and worked very hard helping not just me, but several other teachers as well. In my classroom Brandi was using 409 and paper towels to clean a book case. I sat at a nearby table creating components for my bulletin board display. One small drop of overspray landed on my purple paper. I said to Brandi, “Will you look at this? You have ruined my paper.”

Brandi looks at my paper and raises her nine year-old eyebrows at me. “It will dry,” she says.

I respond, “What if it doesn’t? What if it’s ruined?”

Shaking her head. “I’m telling you, it will dry.”

“I don’t think it’s going to dry, and I don’t think you care about my pretty paper. I am going to just sit here and cry.”

“Okay,” she says. “But you’re just going to get the rest of it wet, too.”

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.

16 Comments

  1. LOL @Brandi! She sounds adorable!!

    I went to WalMart tonight too but no one asked me any questions, probably because I was with Daniel and he has a ‘look’ too, but his look doesn’t have the same effect as your look seems to have. lol

  2. haha!
    Loved ur first post..but am surprised people can be that rude espeically when theyr the ones who need help!!
    And hey brandi sounds sooo cute!

  3. Sounds like an interesting day! I’m a bit of a freak magnet myself at times. I can sympathize… lol

    Brandi sounds like a great kid. You wanna bring her over sometime? I’ve got a whole wall of bookshelves in need of a good cleaning 🙂

  4. And “we” learn from the children! Great story, thanks for sharing. Enjoyed the Walmart story as well. We can’t help ourselves if we have the look of “being here to serve!”
    Have a great day! Don’t forget to serve yourself something wonderful.

  5. I must have a “know it all” look- I can’t tell you the number of people that get on my bus and in response to my question, “where are you going?” never fail to reply, “Warsaw.” Which forces me to have to politely and not impatiently respond, “WHERE in Warsaw?”

  6. BOY! You have some RUDE people in your Walmart! LOL! I must not have that look! I must have the “if you speak to me I’ll kill you” look … cuz nobody EVER approaches me! ROFL! And your little Brandi is quite a smarty! She just might teach you a thing or two! (maybe she can teach you how NOT to be approached in Walmart!)

  7. I tried twice to leave a comment but it is not working so I apoligize if you get several…what????you will not be blogging as often? I am going to tell the manager on you!

    Bless you for taking the nrighbor to the store.

  8. Back when we didn’t have Bishops some lady didn’t like what I said and called me to tell me she was going to complain to the Bishop about me. Almost like complaining to the manager of a store in which you don’t work.
    That little girl was right , you know, if you cry yo will get everything wet.

  9. People are rude at wal mart. I think it’s the color scheme. Gray, blue and maroon. I have to tell you, I walk in and get grumpy!!

    Your daughter has a certain wisdom to her logic.

  13. I am realy surprised at the comments from the people in Wal-mart.

    You are a hard person to work for getting upset over a drop. Smart girl that Brandi.

  14. That Brandi is a funny one alright.That really cracked me up.
    By the way, sorry you got reported to the manager. Now you’re on his list. Maybe you need a t-shirt that says “Don’t bother to report me to the manager, I’ve already been reported.” 🙂 🙂

  16. LOL love the Brandi anecdote!

    Now that you’re on “the list” at the Wal-Mart, you should just start answering questions like you have the authority.
    “yep, tall guy, over there by the condoms”
    “filet mignon, it’s what’s for dinner”

    great blog — I must blogroll you.
    congrats again on Bestest Blog Of The Day! ~mo

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