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Christmas, my cat, tried to kill me this morning. I was in my bed sleeping oh-so- peacefully when — Pft! — My medical equipment shut off. Fortunately, when I stopped breathing my brain went on alert and insisted I wake now, so I woke.

My first inclination was to grab the cat and kill her. Before that could happen the clock distracted me. I’d overslept by almost 45 minutes! Yikes! That meant I had time to get ready and leave, but I did not have time to come to blogland and play with you. I am sorry if you missed me, but I am here now.

As for Chrissy, I’ve decided she is the most brilliant kitty in the world to know that her momma was going to be late if she slept just one minute longer. And she did pick the most effective (non-painful) way to wake me completely in the least amount of time. Therefore, I am waiving the attempted murder charges — but I am not expunging them from her records, just in case …

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. ROFLMAO!! Funny how the kitty who has a death wish knew just what to do. My son is standing here reading over my shoulder, so I better go.

  2. my poor friend, attacked by her kitty..

    if i put all the clues i might think you have sleep apnea and that is the machinery you are speaking of? i’m glad that your machinery seems to work and keeps tabs on you..your breathing is of most importance.

    my oldest daughter is here with me..and i can hardly think..all i here is ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh..okay well now i am hearing Mom..don’t write

    i love the name of kitty..never had i heard any animal named that..i think it is brilliant.

  3. Jan — I am so glad you found my near death amusing! I just fear what I will have to do next to get a laugh out of you …

    Chana — yes, I have sleep apnea. Yes, that is the equipment that Chrissy turned off. Oh, and Christmas was so named because her momma birthed her as my Christmas present. She weighed just under 3 ounces and was not expected to live.

    She is also crippled, but of the three kittens in the litter she was the one with the greatest spirit. Even though the other two were strong and healthy at birth, Chrissy was the first to suckle, the first to mew and the first to crawl out of the box.

  4. What a smart kitty! And I know why Christmas is doing these good deeds now – Christmas, it’s getting close and she’s wanting some really nice presents! LOL

  5. I hope this is to quilldancer. I am having trouble putting comments .I have to come out to the start up place and there I find the place to comment.

    What appears to be a bad action turned out to be a good one but it must have been scary not to beable to breath.

  6. We’re all skirting the real truth here, people, so I’m just going to lay it out there…

    The cat wanted to be fed and you were the only one in the house with opposable thumbs, so she had to wake you up.

    Still, I always think it’s cute when cat owners start to think of their little feline overlords as “selfless”…


    (Glad it turned out right, though)

  7. Betty — blogger does like to be a pill. I read that you had CPAP woes at your place last night, too.

    Cuppojoe — the suspicion that she had ulterior motives did cross my mind. That’s why I waived the murder charges without expunging the records. It wasn’t food though, her dish was full. I believe she was after the warm spot on the bed.

  8. There is such a thing as inocent until proven guilty. Did you see her mess with your equipment? I think poor Christmas needs a lawyer to protect her rights.

  9. Looks like a murderous gleam in her eyes in this picture, but probably just a warning…get on top of your cat care quickly (they have friends and they aren’t afraid to use them).

  10. Charlie — all men have faults, yours are just worse than other’s.

    Nessa — you are absolutely right. Chrissy wasn’t trying to kill me. She was just down there with the unplugged cords trying to plug them back in. And the only reason she claimed the warm spot the second I rose from the bed was to keep it warm for me — that snarling when I tried to remove her so I could make the bed was because she mistook me for Flufferson. Right.

    Kat — you are absolutely right, too. If I tried Chrissy in a court of her peers — other cats — I would loose. She’s innocent due to royal Egyptian entitlements.

  11. have those papers ready, according to teh look on her face, any amount of waking you up in teh near future to cuddle/snuggle/feed or tummyrub…are a definate possibility 🙂

  12. Quill

    Cats are like this around the world, no matter what language. When they are hungry and think it is time to get up, they do horrible things to their owners.

    My Haimish sleeps with me all night and when I stir in the morning he is up and moves to the position of laying across my windpipe purring his head off. Needless to say I get precious little air into the lungs.

    Then at a moments notice, and I never know when it is going to happen (like Kato attacking Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther films), Alexnder will jump on my chest with full force and there is no chance for going back to sleep.

    The result I am now fully awake and mission accomplished Old Pa is ready to feed the lads. Cuppojoe had it right. The MO is to feed me.

    Enjoy your Sunday.

    PS, I haven’t even taken the xbox out of the box yet. Been recharging the batteries.

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