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The Administrative Assistant

Pansy Petite stops nervously beside my desk and eyes a precarious stack of papers. “Ms. A.,” she says primly, “Would you like me to clean your desk?”

“Not really,” I answer. “I know it looks messy, but I actually know where everything is.”

She stares at me skeptically for a long moment, then asks. “May I please borrow the special white eraser?”

I open my desk drawer and rifle through it. No eraser. I look up at Pansy. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. Somebody must already have it.”

She nods her head, reaches out and plucks the white eraser from the chaos of my desk. Holding it up for me to see, she chides, “Are you sure I can’t clean your desk? I promise I would keep it very well orgnized.”

“Yes, Dear,” I answered. “I am certain you would, and I find that thought very, very scary.”

“Suit yourself,” she answered while walking away, “But I’m sure my way would be easier.”

Mmmmm — for whom?

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. ~ cue creepy theremin music ~

    “Oh, she’ll be back — with her blank white eyes and soulless stare. She’ll clean up your desk alright, and she’ll suck your brain out of your ear.

    “In a world where the children rule, holding the grown-ups hostage…”

    Oh, Jerry, Jerry Bruckheimer?

  2. Al — I am reasonably certain Pansy is 35 years old. Every morning she greets me with the same line: “Good-morning, Ms. A. Is there anything important I need to know about today?” It is rather creepy to those of us who remember the first Stepford movie. However, she is exceedingly ticklish, she giggles like a ten year old girl, and her classmates love her, so she’s probably not as scary as she appears.

  3. I oersonally believe people like that spend way too much time organizing and not enough time playing and having fun.

    Although, the other day hubby and daughter spent three hours looking for something if they would have asked me I knew right where it was (under a pile of papers). So, you are either spending your time organizing or spending it finding stuff….

  4. Nessa — and some can be overbearing and obnoxious. Luckily, Pansy isn’t one of them.

    Charlie — uhm, these days my thoughts often seem to be scattered as well.

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