The Administrative Assistant
Pansy Petite stops nervously beside my desk and eyes a precarious stack of papers. “Ms. A.,” she says primly, “Would you like me to clean your desk?”
“Not really,” I answer. “I know it looks messy, but I actually know where everything is.”
She stares at me skeptically for a long moment, then asks. “May I please borrow the special white eraser?”
I open my desk drawer and rifle through it. No eraser. I look up at Pansy. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. Somebody must already have it.”
She nods her head, reaches out and plucks the white eraser from the chaos of my desk. Holding it up for me to see, she chides, “Are you sure I can’t clean your desk? I promise I would keep it very well orgnized.”
“Yes, Dear,” I answered. “I am certain you would, and I find that thought very, very scary.”
“Suit yourself,” she answered while walking away, “But I’m sure my way would be easier.”
Mmmmm — for whom?
18 Comments
~ cue creepy theremin music ~
“Oh, she’ll be back — with her blank white eyes and soulless stare. She’ll clean up your desk alright, and she’ll suck your brain out of your ear.
“In a world where the children rule, holding the grown-ups hostage…”
Oh, Jerry, Jerry Bruckheimer?
Al — I am reasonably certain Pansy is 35 years old. Every morning she greets me with the same line: “Good-morning, Ms. A. Is there anything important I need to know about today?” It is rather creepy to those of us who remember the first Stepford movie. However, she is exceedingly ticklish, she giggles like a ten year old girl, and her classmates love her, so she’s probably not as scary as she appears.
Quilly, shhhh — Can’t you see I’m pitching a movie here?
(Thanks for clarifying. 🙂
I oersonally believe people like that spend way too much time organizing and not enough time playing and having fun.
Although, the other day hubby and daughter spent three hours looking for something if they would have asked me I knew right where it was (under a pile of papers). So, you are either spending your time organizing or spending it finding stuff….
ORGANIZATION, n. When the church doesn’t have to settle for a piano.
nyuk nyuk
Lori — six of one, half a dozen of the other
OC — I find myself wondering what it was about your humor that first attracted me …. :p
I think her concern for your desk may have a fear of her work being lost.
Betty, remarkably, I seldom lose student papers. However, I frequently lose things the principal gives me. I wonder why that would be?.
It would make the eraser’s life much more difficult.
Doug — that fancy white eraser which leaves their paper looking clean and new is pretty popular. It probably hides in the mess on purpose.
Sounds like the Felix-Oscar syndrome. The child wouldn’t know where to begin here, my place looks like a hurricane swept through.
Bill — mine is just paper. It cleans up in a matter of moments. If I’d just do my grading everyday, I wouldn’t have this problem.
Children can be so sweet and helpful.
Tidy desk, untidy mind – that’s what I say QD :o)))
Nessa — and some can be overbearing and obnoxious. Luckily, Pansy isn’t one of them.
Charlie — uhm, these days my thoughts often seem to be scattered as well.
Hmmm… just what does this “special white eraser” erase? I think I might want one.
Joe — the mistakes of 10 year olds erase much more easily than the mistakes of adults.
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