Waiting in Silence

My mother died when I was three.  When I was six, I went to live with my maternal grandmother.  My father left me there and said he’d be back for me.  Eight years later, he was.

In the meantime he would call.  Occasionally he even came to visit.  Sometimes he would call and say he was coming to visit, but not show up.  On those days I would wait for him, knees on the couch, staring out the window, from morning to night.  He wouldn’t come.  He wouldn’t call, and I’d cry myself to sleep.

Somethings we never get over.  I have just been forceably reminded that I am not good at waiting.

18 thoughts on “Waiting in Silence

  1. One must learn to be patient ~ I tell myself this everday and I still cannot seem to wait sometimes. Other times I cave the Patience of Job.

    I hope what you are waiting for arrives soon

    A blessed Sunday is wished for you.

  2. QuillDancer,
    My Dad’s mother died when dad was three. His dad went on the road as a traveling salesman until he died when dad was thirteen. He was reared by a step mother for 10 yrs. and older siblings for 4 yrs.
    Life deals us some crappy cards sometimes.

  3. My dad died almost 10 years ago. It will actually be 10 years on March 11th. My dad died on my birthday, but I didn’t see it as a terrible birthday but more of a gift. My dad suffered from cancer for over 6 years and his passing meant he was finally at peace. Some things one just never gets over no matter how long ago it was.

    My heart goes out to you as you wait. I hope time passes quickly for you and that the love of friends and family will help with the time as you wait!

  4. Polona — there will always be waiting. That is how life is.

    Rel — we are the sum of our experiences. I don’t know what I’d choose to change, if it meant losing who I am now.

    Angela — thanks. Actually, a tempertantrum every now and then drowns out the ticking of the clock.

  5. I’m not very good at it either… but I do find myself getting better about a LOT of things in just the past few years. I’m a mellower me.

    I hope you don’t have to wait too long.

  6. Jackie — it wasn’t ime I wanted to pass. It was the waiting for someone who wasn’t going to show up — and this silence wasn’t mine. However, I have learned peace. I need neither radio or TV to keep me company. I live in quiet.

    Still, you know that the person who forgot me wasn’t greeted with silence.

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