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Say What?!

I believe I am dead.  I am not certain though.  You read the letter and tell me what you think.

Dear Client,

Your will has been executed.  Now is come to distribute your properties and monies.  As beneficiary, you stand to inherit all.  First must be paid the taxes of inheritance.  Contact me for particulars.

Martin Suyat
Attorny in Law

I think being the beneficiary of my own will rather defeats the purpose, don’t you?  On the other hand, maybe I have figured out a way to take it with me … too bad there’s nothing to take!


  1. And I thought I had heard all the “lawyer” stories!! Yea! you can take it with you indeed — well, for sure I wouldn’t need anything more than a coin purse! Enjoy the day!


  2. Obviously someone whose first language is not English or Legalese! Ha ha!

    Randy Alcorn says you can’t take it with you, but you CAN send it on ahead! Google him if you haven’t heard about him. Very inspiring guy.

  3. I guess some people must be really gullible, if they fall for this. And some people must…. why else would they keep sending such stupid stuff!?

  4. That’s a new one. I didn’t know lawyers could communicate beyond the grave…:)

    I have noticed. though, that when I open my spam mail I get more of it. But that may just be with my AOL address — they have a way, or they used to, anyway, to send things with a “return receipt” that let a sender know whether another AOL recipient opened the e-mail or not.

    1. Barbara — I don’t “do” aol, and I don’t “open” these. They come into my comment box — just like your comments do, but they get shuffled to a spam folder. I can see each comment to approve or delete it.

  5. How do you read an executed will? All those bullet holes … Such a document is no more than a piece of rubbish. And rubbish, of course, may be shot.

    1. Maybe his sister married a drug runner. But seriously, folks, dude can’t be sued for misrepresenting a profession he can’t even spell. How dumb can he be? We’re all talking about him …

      1. How rude. I’m quite positive I corrected my own comment, which left two comments. Miraculously there is now only one. I am now talking about him again in terms of a missing comment.

        1. Karen — Amoeba edited you in the belief that he was sparing you embarrassment. He had no idea you’d made your “mistake” on purpose. We will know in future.

  6. When I used to practice criminal defense law, I had to remind myself, “they’re not criminals because they’re exceptionally smart; they’re criminals because they’re exceptionally LAZY!” And most of my clients were the latter. They all THOUGHT they were the former. Ha ha

  7. .
    I see that this Mr. Suyat is buttering you up by making you his relative, a strange sounding in-law.

    Mr. Suyat isn’t through yet. He will want your date of birth, SSN, and mother’s maiden name. And perhaps a little more, generally not a bank account or credit card per se. He will get that on his own. He is an attorney, you know.

    Who knows, you might even have to send a little deposit of some sort.

    1. Jim — if he wants in one hand an …. well, you know. The only thing he’ll get to deposit from me is some advice — go bark up someone else’s tree!

    1. CL — Yes! They post them on my blog and Akismet scrapes them into a special file which I open on occasion in search of nonsense.

  8. Haha! I LOVE spam sometimes 🙂 Oh, and good thinking leaving all your belongings to yourself. It makes it very hard for others to argue about your will this way.

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