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Personal Injury Claim

Since the couch attacked me (see previous post), I was wondering if I could file a personal injury claim.  I found Accident Consultant [dot] Com and got really excited.  If they accept my case and I win, I get 100% of the compensation owed me.  If they accept my case and I lose, I don’t have to pay them a dime!  I was all ready to fill out the Personal Injury Claim form and then I realized — this is only for those lucky people who live in the UK.


  1. My sister once left her dog in her car, parked outside her house, while she ran back inside for something she forgot. The neighbor kids (probably sent by their mother) opened my sister’s car door, pulled the dog from the car, and the terrified elderly dog snapped at the kids, giving one a tiny puncture wound on his thumb. (there were witnesses) The neighbor sued my sister and WON ten thousand dollars for “years of therapy” for that stupid kid, and my sister’s home insurance had to pay for it.

    Always lock your doors. Or, make sure your lawyer’s better than their lawyer. Who’s representing your couch?

  2. AAAUUUUGGGGHHH – as a lawyer I can say this. I really HATE lawyer advertising. I knew when the Texas Supreme Court struck down the ban on billboards advertising lawyers as a first amendment issue that the ambulance chasers were rejoicing. That was back in the early 80’s and the ethics of the profession have slid right into the gutter since then.

  3. Hmmmm…. you know what? I’ve got furniture that attacks me, too. Isn’t it amazing? They make me trip and sometimes scratch me unmercifully. It seems to be happening more often which makes me wonder why.

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