The Truth About Thom


Look at the face. Need I say more?

Quote from Thom on my Sunday Killed the Car post:

Now woman…enough of this kind of crap about me. Maybe I should say that I was hmmphing and hawing under my breath to keep my true nature alive and well. This is going to ruin me…just ruin me I tell ya!!! PFFFFT

Thom is worried that my posts are taking the edge off of his irascible image. I want to fix that. The man is cranky, mean and obnoxious.  I don’t expect you take take my word for it, I have proof:

At the park on Saturday he took food away from the dog — snatched it right out of the poor little critter’s mouth!  Nalu is short and had to jump very high and work very hard to steal that piece of chicken from Kalihi’s plate and Thom took it away with callous disregard of the effort involved in getting it.  Meany!

Then, he snapped at his adorable nephew Ali’i and all the poor kid had done was put Thom’s iPhone in the artichoke salad.  Grouchy!

Later, he snapped at his niece, Kahali, just because she was shivering and whining about being cold but making no move to get out of her wet swim suit and into dry clothes. Ogre!

Also, Thom asks questions like machine gun fire.  It is impossible to answer him because he won’t shut up, so he gets impatient because he isn’t getting answers!  Obnoxious!

AND when he picked Amoeba and I up at the car place he said he was looking forward to our move to Friday Harbor.  He said then Punny Monday would come up at an optimal time for him.  (Midnight Pacific ST is 9 p.m., Hawaii ST).  So to heck (my word, not his) with all the rest of you. Selfish!

So, in a nut shell, Thom is loud, insulting, obnoxious, egocentric, self-centered, and mean to small children and pets, yet goes out of his way to help his friends and — despite being haole — lives “aloha” better than almost everyone else we’ve met in Hawaii.

The truth about Thom is — you couldn’t ask for a better friend.  I hope I’ve set you all straight on that.