Dude and Dude: Punty Monday

“Hey dude!”

“What?”

“I thought that American football was a fall game.”

“Yeah, dude. Of course it is. You fall when you’ve been tackled. Assuming, of course, that you like your knees and want to have them around awhile.”

“Not that kind of fall, dude. The season ‘fall’, the one when the leaf peepers come out.”

“And the football pools haven’t yet frozen over. So?”

“So how come I keep finding spring football on the idiot box?”

Really, dude? Gnarly!! Football on pogo sticks is something I gotta see!

“I knew I should have been more careful about using the word ‘idiot’. Not ‘football on springs’, dude. Football in spring!”

“They’re still playing bowl games, dude?”

Don’t give them any bright ideas.”

“So what else could this ‘spring football’ be?”

“Near as I can make out, they’re showing practice.”

“And practice is good enough to make it onto television?”

“Says something about what else is on, doesn’t it, dude?”

“But, like, how?

“They probably divide it up by positions. So, you know, you get like Tight End Tuesdays, Fullback Fridays, Safety Saturdays, things like that. And there’d better be a day given over to the special teams.”

“And what day would that be?”

“Monday, I reckon. Punty Monday.”

“Dude?”

“What?”

I don’t think so.

“You don’t believe me?”

“What I believe is that Quilly’d better ask someone else next time she’s in the middle of internet nowhere and needs someone to explain to her legion of fans that there won’t be a Punny Monday.”

“Well, I dunno, dude. Football on pogo sticks sounds pretty punny to me.”