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Daddy’s False Teeth

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My father suffered many years with bad teeth. The day he finally came home with his perfectly straight, perfectly white store bought choppers he was bursting with pride. He grinned big and wide, snapped his teeth together for all of us to see, and exclaimed — repeatedly — how wonderful they were.

Within the hour of his return home, dad announced that he was hungry. Judy, my step-brother’s wife, and I were preparing lunch. I was slicing tomatoes. Judy was mixing a bowl of tuna. Dad approached us.

“What’s for lunch, Jude?” He asked while looking over Judy’s shoulder. His teeth slipped from his mouth and landed in the tuna bowl. Without missing a beat Judy poked him in the solar plexus with the bowl and said, “Well, Pops, you’re having this, but I think we’ll all be eating something else.”

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. Ew. THat’s a good story. That’s a great pic. I remember that guy.

    Your sister has a tendency of sticking her top plate out of her mouth at the grandkids. I am immediately reduced to a mortified teenager when she does that.

  2. i think i know how happy he must have been with a well fitted, new smile..

    my dad had bad teeth..he had to make them out of wax each morning..they were so poor they had no choice but when he finally was able to get a real, working smile, he lit up like a Christmas tree.

  3. My father in law used to scare the grandkids by poking his teeth out at them. Unless you’ve lost yours, its amazing the amount of self-esteem and good health that evaporates without a sparkling mouth full of teeth.

  4. Quilly-Sister, you know, I can’t remember when he looked that young, although you can definitely tell this is him. Nice pic – haven’t seen it in years. xoxoxo

    Cindra, can you really remember that far back, or is it because you saw pics of him?

  5. Bad teeth was a given back in Grandma’s day, I remember she had three teeth in her head, but she always said with pride, I have all my own teeth……well yeh, they were ALL hers, but she diddn’t have all of them. I never did know how she was able to eat. She never did get dentures.

    That is a great story Quill…….

  6. My father never put his false teeth in his mouth. He kept them in a glass of water in his bedroom much to the delight of his grandchildren. The first thing they wanted to see when they came through his door was his teeth in the glass of water.

  7. Wonderful story Quill, I can still remember my Dad rattling his teeth in his mouth. When someone heard it for the first time the looks they gave were priceless.

  8. WHen I read this Quilly I just burst out laughing…what a funny story! one of my gfs Father came to one of the basketball games at school…he was in the upper part of the gym, he was yelling and cheering and his dentures flew out of his mouth down on the gym floor and one of the cheerleaders kicked them out of the way!!!! It was hysterical!!!! Thanks for the laugh and have a great weekend!!!!

  9. My dad had bad teeth and got dentures right after getting married to my mom. He had the same false teeth for all of my life up to his retirement, so they framed his mouth in a particular way and that was dad. When my parents retired and were about to sail around the world, he decided to get new false teeth for the trip. His new teeth were bigger, brighter and well, just plain toothier. he didn’t look like my dad and I didn’t like them at all. On the first leg of their journey, he got sea sick and puked his new teeth into the Pacific. His back-up were his old pair. He never got another new pair so he’s been my dad ever since. I was grateful for that bout of seasickness.

  10. Tom, lovely little tooth story! Cindra, I can’t help it – it’s so darn cute when they stare at me so intently, and then try really hard to make their teeth move in and out! LOL – it cracks me up! Almost as much as when they want me to do “my name is chubby”!!!

  11. Ohhhh that’s great! MY grandfather didn’t like his teeth… he had little teeth like mine and he HATED them! So one day (he was only about 35!) he went and had them ALL pulled out and got himself a full set of false ones. BIG false ones! Back then this was all able to happen in one day — I don’t know if he “knew” somebody or what — but the story goes that when he left home in the morning he had his small teeth — and when he came home for supper, my Grandma didn’t RECOGNIZE him! It changed his whole facial appearance! BOY was she mad!!! He never mentioned to her that he was going to do it — he just DID it! She never did forgive him for it! LOL! But he didn’t care — he LOVED his new BIG teeth!

  12. I have a false teeth story too. When I was in I believe the Jr High my family took a trip down south. We had stopped at a little shop that was selling homemade bedspreads. I badly wanted to get one. my mother wanted to see the pattern woven in it. She took one end and the shop owner the other but as he was trying to sell it, out shot his false teeth onto the spread.
    By the way we found Dr John’s

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