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Attitude Adjustment

I believe an attitude adjustment may be in order. Currently there is some controversy in my life over who needs the attitude adjustment. My friends say it is me. I disagree.

My niece, LB (a non-blogger, who holds little in common with my blogging nieces you know and love), called me several weeks before Christmas to put in her present order. Since then she has called me every three or four days to see how I am progressing on it and to add items. Not surprisingly, I’ve not progressed at all.

That same niece had an argument with me about whether or not I would be allowed to attend church on Christmas Eve. Hello? She is currently considering my suggestion she attend church with me. I am not holding my breath.

A friend of mine who usually travels cross-country for Christmas is staying here, so two days ago she called me out of the blue and informed me that I would be having Christmas dinner at her home. Then she was offended when I told her I had already made other plans.

What in the definition of the word “gift” implies that one places orders for them? And what, in the definition of “friendship” gives one the right to define someone else’s choices?

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. She sounds like Sally, Charlie Brown’s little sister in A Charlie Brown Christmas when she’s having Charlie write her letter to Santa…

    “Please note the size and color of each item… or, make it easy on yourself and send cash. Tens and Twenties will do…”

    It took me many years to realize that people CHOOSE to be offended. Just do what is on your heart, and let them deal with their emotions. But my 2Cents is that They’re the ones needing the attitude adjustment.

  2. Quill,

    I must say that you are perfect in every way, and have never caused me any offense. 🙂

    Is it too late to place my demented order?

  3. Brian — I am glad I’ve never caused you any offense since that has never been my intent, but I must say anyone who thinks I’m perfect is truly demented. I expect my family to chime in on this any second ….

  4. Nothing and nothing.

    Maybe, in responding to these people (and others like them), you need to adopt the line used by Peco and Alvarado in the Firesign Theatre album “Don’t crush that dwarf …” – used by them as a password response so they could cross the Sector M front lines:

    “Not Responsible! Park And Lock It!!”

  5. Yes the corruption of the spirit of christmas, we humans do it smashingly…Be content with your plans and try to let others be content with theirs. My eldest is always placing a monkey wrench into my holidays. This year I offered her four different choices.She was speechless and unable to decide. I told her that if she preferred we could share a quiet cup of tea any day that was best for her…again speechless.Some people just want chaos no matter how accommodating we try to be. Be bold, be ruthless, celebrate with joyfulness inspite of all thos little monkey wrenches…

  6. WooHoo… Niece is just a tad demanding and controlling. She is definately the one that needs an attitude adjustment. Even when I was a kid I didn’t make “gift lists”, it just felt so …icky. Just keep smiling and give her dish towels. That’ll her teach her not to be such a greedy thing.

  7. Jenn — you can have them both …

    OC — today they are just minor irritants in my life. Caller ID is a glorious thing.

    Pauline — apparently they have been to OC’s blog and caught the Humbug.

    Kat — she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, “Nothing I have to cook, clean, feed, iron, store, dust, launder, vacuum …..”

  8. Wow, that’s just not right. Yes, their attitudes need adjusting and while they’re at it how about their manners too.

  9. Quilly-Sister, LB came by her attitudes naturally – and was then enabled by her mother. (Remember the year her mother bought her a computer – and then ended up in tears because LB went on and on because it wasn’t the right one?) You, as I have pointed out before, continue to ALLOW the same behavior from her. DON’T.
    Buy, or don’t buy, her whatever YOU want to – and how she deals with it – is her problem. That’s my two cents. (I know, I know, it’s actually more like a dime!)

  10. Sar — is there a wrench for that?

    Al — tell them, not me!

    Nessa — okay, hold your breath while I decide.

    Jackie — I don’t allow it. I do what I need to do. And in all these years she hasn’t caught on.

  11. Oh, brother said the niece from the other sister. Just keep doing that thing that you and Boo do…smile, nod, and then do what you want.

  12. Holy Moly. This world is indeed changing, but the nerve of some people kils me. I’m currently going through som similar situtions…I’ve had two huge disapointments this year with those I thought were my “friends”. Hang in there!!

  13. I wish it were true, what Cindra said. Smile, nod then do what you want. You don’t, and will end up trying to please them all and trying to be true to you and the outlook doesn’t look bright. I say old tapes are hard to break and you need distance,,,,,,like a few thousand miles!! Out of the rut, into a new one!!
    And now to that perfect part (I see the rest of the family just skimmed right over that) you are exceptional, bright, beautiful and extremely entertaining but perfect you are not. and if you want examples I can give them….may find them embarassing beyond belief though!!
    Much love……….yours

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