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Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. Quilly…..You know how a person always thinks of great come-backs after a situation has left her/him speechless? This is great that you can think of the perfect reply. Fore-thought is so much better than hind-sight. I’d love to be a fly on the wall…………..Judy

  2. Judy — to tell the truth, I don’t plan to speak to her at all. And if the occasion arises, I won’t be any nastier then I have to be. However, it does feel good to be “armed” so to speak.

    Brooke — I wasn’t surprised, either.

  3. Well she needs you even if she isn’t nice. A good deed done for someone who won’t appreciate it is better than a good deed done in the expectation of being patted on the back.

  4. Dr. John — I have put up with her treating me badly for a year and a half. What I can’t put up with is her drunken rages. She does not need me. She needs professional help.

  5. Doesn’t surprise me a bit! She probably doesn’t remember the last conversation…. Can you change your phone number?

  6. Dear Quilly,
    In reference to your reply to the gentleman’s comment, I wish to say………………..Q-U-I-L-L-Y, GO QUILLY GO…YAAAAAA QUILLY!!! (I’m wearing a short skirt and waving pom-poms.)

    P.S. I tried not to, but, the devil made me do it.

  7. Quilly

    Find something to do so as when you have to eventually talk to her she will have to find other ways to go shopping you won’t be lying. If I was in your place I’d wouldn’t want to help anymore either. Just make sure all your bases are covered and someone has your back.

    Blessings for a wonderful weekend.

  8. Melli — it’s not worth the expense. I’m moving in a couple of months. I have voice mail — and caller ID. I don’t have to speak to her.

    Judy — if I was helping her it would be different, but I think all of you were right when you said I was enabling her. By being her chauffeur I made it easier for her to get her booze home — and gave her more free time for drinking it.

    Bill — I don’t think she’s violent. And if I do end up speaking to her I will tell her the truth.

  9. Quilly…..I don’t think we are on the same page. At no time did I mention “enabling” in any of my comments. You may have me mixed up with Melli’s comment in the “Still Human” blog.

    In commenting on “Yeah, Right” I was cheering you on (cheerleader, short skirt, pom-poms) for your reply to Dr. John’s slightly insensitive comment about “…expectation of bring patted on the back”. We all know you only expected a simple, “Thank you.” Perhaps my small attempt at humour, and writing in a more formal style,(again, humour was intended) and not wanting to use “the gentleman’s name” was not appropriate for a subject that effects you so deeply.

    There was only one “Human” comment that said she would call you back, with no mention of the unsettling previous event, and still feel you would continue to do her bidding. I didn’t take those psychology courses for nothing……………Judy

  10. Judy — What happenes it that I get a whole picture of a conversation in my head. Even though I replied to your name, I replied to everybody because most of you all read each other’s comments. I tend to respond to the broader picture Plus, I wasn’t offended by the gentlemen’s comment about “wanting a pat on the back.” I know the gentlemen, so I knew that he wasn’t admonishing me, but instead was suggesting that since I wasn’t taking care of her for a reward anyway, maybe I shouldn’t stop.

  11. I repsect you for helping her as much as you did. Kudos to you – I don’t think I could have put up with her for as long as you did. I like to help people too, but it’s hard to have any sympathy for someone who won’t help herself.

  12. oh well… some people seem to think the whole world spins around them (and quite literally in this case from what you said)

  13. Rob — I am certain I don’t deserve kudos. I helped advance her drinking for a year and a half.

    Judy — any time I get vague, just rattle my cage.

    Polona — I would like to be the center of the universe for …. never mind. Too much attention.

  14. You made your decision last time you spoke to her to not be a martyr anymore (or an enabler – I must have missed those comments, but they are so right) so I am sending you vibes of strength in the event that you can’t ignore her until you move!

    It doesn’t surprise me that she called you. The only thing that does surprise me is that it took this long for her to do so!

  15. Mumma — so far she’s not called again, and I certainly won’t call her. I’ll just keep looking at my caller ID before I amswer — or don’t answer, as the case calls for.

  16. I’m glad you are sticking by your decision to not take her, and also to avoid getting sucked back into her drama vortex. Good for you.

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