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Reflect This – Can We Talk?

There is only one of me. There are over 77 of you — I kid you not. Then there all all the extra people from the projects and the challenges and the memes …. I can’t keep up. Today I didn’t even try. I looked at my feed reader, took a deep breath, and closed my laptop. I read the better part of a novel, visited with a friend, and got the laundry and some ironing done. I went for a walk. I did not open my laptop. It felt pretty darn good.

With 80 some blogs on my feed reader, and most of you posting daily or several times a week and some of you posting several times per day (not that I am naming names or pointing fingers David, Alice & Karen), the better part of my day is spent reading and commenting — or answering comments on my own blog. After all of that I still have to make my own post, polish and perfect it, and that leaves me precious little time for much else.

So, with that in mind I would like you to answer the following questions:

How many of you will be devastated if I quit answering the comments?

How many of you would be devastated if I sometimes skipped Ruby Tuesday?

How many of you would be devastated if I sometimes skipped Wordless Wednesday?

How many of you would be devastated if I sometimes skipped Sky Watch Friday?

How many of you would be devastated if I visited your blog less frequently — say no more often than you visit mine? Yes, I know, some of you come by 2 & 3 times a day. I’ll be able to figure out who you are by your reaction to the first question. Some folks only come by once or twice a week, even though I visit them daily.

I have to cut something. What’s it to be?

Brass Fingers

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. Wow. If I hurry up and write this, I may be the first comment. That never happens for me. It’s early in the morning here in Michigan. It must be still Tuesday night there. Way back before we met through the kindness of Dr. John, I wrote a series of posts called “Why Bloggers Blog.” It continues here if you scroll down to the beginning of April. Anyway, those posts touch on what you’re talking about. I can relate.

    On a lighter note, you have mentioned a tool that helps you know when one of us has posted. Nancy at Daily Blessings would like to know how that works. Feel free to leave an instructional comment at POI or maybe you could write a post about it. =)

    I’ve enjoyed reading here this morning. Things have been busy and I haven’t had time to keep up. Feel free to not respond to this comment in the comment section. =)

  2. I totally know what you mean. I’ve often thought the same thing when trying to keep up with the 80+ blogs I have on my reader. I can’t keep up and do what I need in real life. I try to play catch up every so often and I’m dropping a few memes (non-photo ones).

    Do what’s best for you! People will understand.


  3. Quill, you’re my friend and commenting/visiting is simply something I do because I want to. Me leaving a comment here does not create a sense of obligation or need to reciprocate. There are 100 million blogs in the world, enough said.


  4. NOoooooooooo! DO NOT cut off your fingers! It’s not worth drastic measures Quilly! I’ve been thinking about giving up SkyWatch myself. (the list there is just waaaaay too big – they won’t miss me at all — and I only EVER have time to visit a few of them…) I’ve already quit Wordless Wednesday – unless I really DO have nothing to say – which was it’s intended purpose anyway. (many of the people don’t even post their own photographs anymore – they go find someone eles’s on the web!) I just started Ruby Tuesday and I’ll stick with it until I get bored with it. BUT… I do not visit EVERYONE that plays. In ANY of those giant meme’s I visit about 10 – on top of whichever of my “regulars” play too. As far as you’re visits to ME … if you don’t come, you know I miss you. When you do come, I LOVE your visit. If you only come once a week I will STILL love you! Blogging, above all else, is supposed to be FUN. When it becomes WORK then it’s not fun. Let it be FUN!!!

  5. I like your reflection of the doorknob. I don’t think there are any rules. I visit when I have time but I never visit someone so they will visit me. I’m enjoying your challenge for its own sake. I think coming up with the challenge is enough. I don’t think you have to visit everyone who participates. I think you should do WW and skywatch when you feel like it and not fee obligated to visit everyone who visits you. That’s my two cents worth.

  6. Quilly – While I enjoy your Ruby Tuesday, Wordless Wednesdays, etc., what I enjoy most are the columns where you write about life and what’s going on. I like hearing about pupils the most.

  7. I join with the other insincere people here in saying that blogging should never be obliging, even as an anagram.

  8. Quilly, I enjoy doing the memes, yours especially, and I will continue to do them. I think we should visit people we want to keep in touch with and not quit memes but cut back on visiting everyone. Do we have to visit every one ALL the time. That used to be the rule – you visit me, I visit you. But I don’t think it’s necessary to visit or comment one for one. We can comment/visit who we want and participate in the memes we want to.

    Any way I have a Day 4 of Reflect This. You don’t HAVE to visit. Just saying! πŸ™‚

  9. I participate in a meme for every day of the week. Visiting everyone can be impossible. These days I go back to those who visit me (unless something gets in the way of even that)
    Blogging is supposed to be fun. If it becomes a chore, then it stops being fun. No-one worth knowing will take offence if you ease off on your visits.

  10. I understand perfectly, I have two blogs, one in Dutch and my Heaveninbelgium blog in English. It’s fun, but it’s impossible to keep up with everyone all the time. Sometimes I can manage, and then I visit every day, sometimes I can’t and I am not even able to visit the ones that have visited me. At the moment, I’m very busy with my new camera,and I don’t feel like blogging at all. So yes, of course I understand. But I did miss you the last couple of days, that’s true, because I love your comments.
    Relax, take it easy …

  11. Like the reflection in the doorknob.

    I don’t really have any input about how you conduct your visiting. It can get overwhelming to visit everyone, and sometimes I visit some new people and sometimes I only visit folks who have dropped by. What a drag to feel obligated to visit everyone everyday.
    But isn’t that part of hosting a blog challenge? I don’t know. Haven’t been blogging long enough to know.
    I know it is really nice when you do have the time to visit my blog, though.

  12. I love the brass fingers!
    and I know exactly what you mean. There is a slogan about “Blogging without obligation” and I think the same applies to leaving comments. You made a clever decision by closing your laptop and doing fun things (ok, except for laundry and the ironing!) in the real world. Not that we are not real, but you get the point.
    Blogging has to be fun, if it becomes an obligation, it is a burden. That’s not what we are looking for!!
    I will be happy to see you around my blog whenever you feel like it, and I hope whenever you visit, it is not because you feel you have to because you are a lady with manners πŸ™‚
    Whenever I participate in a meme/challenge, I don’t expect the host/hostess to visit every single one of the participants, it isn’t possible, no way, particularly when we are too many.
    Have a fun day. Enjoy your day!!

  13. Tom — my “tool” is the Google Feed Reader. It is a wonderful helper and has made it possible for me to keep up with dozens of blogs.

    Minkydo — Thank you. I am going to the mall today with a friend. I am going to go grocery shopping, too. I cannot spend my whole like behind this screen.

    Brian — you were one of my very first friends and have been with me for three years now. I wasn’t considering not visiting you — but thank you for always giving me the the freedom to skip as I need without feeling guilty.

    Melli — that’s mostly it — I love it when my hit reader tells me an extra hundred people or so have popped by, but all the work involved in that (though thank heavens they don’t ALL comment!) is exhausting, and I CAN’T visit my own peeps and keep up with all the new. Oh, and I’ve never felt like visiting your blog was hard work.

    Carver — I think a host should visit everyone who plays. And I am thinking I picked a really bad week to host a meme!

    Nancy — I have no pupils to write about. I don’t even have a job at the moment. A company assured me that they’d hired me three weeks ago, and I talk to their receptionist most every morning and she assures me I am still on their list, but so far I am still waiting to be put to work. That is part of what is sapping my energy and my confidence.

    Doug — you don’t count. I’ve adopted you. You’re family. That means I am no longer obligated to be polite. πŸ˜‰

    Mary — no one told me when the rules changed! And I WANT to visit all the people on my feed reader. I put them there because I enjoy their blogs. There just isn’t enough time. I have to find a better way …

    Dragonstar — thank you — and everyone else — I needed help restoring my perspective.

    Jientje — thanks. I am going to do some rearranging of my reading schedule.

    Amber — as a host I do believe I should visit everyone who participates. Yesterday I didn’t. There were too many obligations I’d let go too long trying to keep up with blogging. I will try to get to everyone today but I only have a couple of hours.

    Mar — I enjoy visiting your blog — in fact the only blogs I don’t enjoy visiting are the olks who come in response to a meme and leave me cookie cutter comments they paste on every blog. Enjoyment isn’t my problem. Time is, and choosing who to visit when.

  14. i like your blog
    and i check it out often
    i like using this as a way to keep up with you guys

    with that said
    i would not care one bit what you keep on your blog
    and what you give up
    one of the commenters here
    said they like your posts about your life and your students the most
    i agree
    i do not love wordless wednesday
    ruby tuesday

    i love
    hearing what you have to say
    and i would love to see more of it
    and if it means you post less often
    then thats that…

    its not up to me
    or anyone else
    what kind of content you post
    thats all up to you…

    you do what pleases you
    ill follow along

  15. I think everyone has pretty much covered the ups and downs. In reality – YOU must do what is good for you.
    I love the memes I do. I wouldn’t do them if I didn’t.
    I visit many of those participants and make a point of visiting those who come to me – that’s just me. That’s in between throwing in a load of wash or getting dinner because there is life outside blogging.
    Do the memes you enjoy, comment where and when you want. I don’t think any of us come to your blog for a certain meme. I think we come because we know there is something here we will like, enjoy, or appreciate by the way it’s presented – whatever it is.
    I don’t think I could host a meme. To me that’s a huge undertaking and in my view an obligation. If folks were taking the time to ‘invest’ in my endeavor I’d feel obliged to visit – I’ll probably never host because of that πŸ™‚
    Here’s hoping you’re having a much less stressful day today and enjoying that beautiful place you live in – hope your toes are in the water!!!
    See you tomorrow Quilly.

  16. Quilly, I would miss your daily visits, and I totally understand. I have been feeling the same thing for some time. I’ve often wondered how you and some others manage all this and life too, because I sure can’t. Now I know you can’t either, haha. This last week or two I’ve been doing more posting and visiting than I had in some time, and it sure shows on the number of visits I’ve been getting at my blog. I love the higher numbers showing this week on the report email I get. However, I’m getting really tired of living in a filthy mess, and really must cut back on some things and start cleaning this house up.

    You go ahead and do what you need to do. Life is about doing what is best for us, not about what other people think we should do. Yes, I love coming here and reading your replies. I’d miss that and I’d still live through it. Yes, I love reading your comments on my blog every day and would miss that… and again I would survive… and I would fully understand.

    If I knew how, I’d make you an award with a super hero on it and call it the Supper Blogger Award. I believe you deserve it.

    I have friends in my real life that don’t come visit me every day, and when we do get together it’s great. You don’t have to feel obligated to visit every day. When you do, we’ll have a great time!

    Now, all that being said, you simply “have” to visit my triple play Reflections/Wordless Wednesday post today… hahaha. At least I do my best to combine challenges so my visitors only have one instead of two, haha.

  17. BARK!
    Ya, what Mom said… and all those before her. We love you, Quilly…. even if you miss some posting or visiting. I’d still lick yur face either way!
    Arf, arf, arf.

  18. While your pictures are beautiful, I think I’ve mentioned before I miss hearing about you. And you know I don’t care about comments πŸ™‚ I know you read my page but you should feel no compulsion to do so or about leaving comments.

  19. Oh quilly, I’m SO sorry! I post Reflect This on my other blog, Answers to the Questions. Click my name now and you’ll have the right address! πŸ™

  20. If it’s not fun anymore, don’t do it. I know people will miss you, but maybe you’ll inspire them to get out and live more. FWIW, I only read blogs and leave comments one day a week… Wordless Wednesday.

  21. Nancy — I am so busy commenting on other people’s blogs I don’t have TIME to know what I have to say ….

    Craver — thank you. I needed that.

    Carletta — your wisdom is appreciated. I think I am going to heed it.

    Alice — isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone?

    Reba — you’re a good dog.

    Mary — lol! I guess I’ll be right there ….

    OC — is THAT why you’ve been leaving the house messier than usual, my love? Trying to get me to put down the laptop and do something? I have. I have put it down and picked up my novels …. :*

    Randall — now there’s a thought …..

  22. I’m pretty much with Randall now: If it’s not fun anymore, don’t do it. You’re really cool, and I like reading what you have to say/looking at what you have to show, but if there’s one, two, or twelve things that are too much, just put them down and step away.

  23. Quilly ~ I will not be devastated if you don’t reply to my comments. Or if you don’t post everyday, or even get over to my blog.

    Blessings my Friend

  24. When your hobbies get in the way of your work – that’s OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves… well. …
    Steve Martin

    i suppose this goes for all of us… i’ve felt that way quite often recently and have quite spontaneopsly, without real intention, quit replying to most of the comments on my blogs… i still visit most of my favourit blogs but don’t comment on them all…
    in fact (as you may know or not) i set up ST as my own personal respite without any intention for attracting visitors – and look where i’m now… i have even been contemplating disabling comment facility so that nobody would feel obliged to say something. which, of course,doesn’t mean i don’t love comments, i simply can’t afford to put too much energy into dealing with them…

  25. I’ve been thinking about this all day and if you have other obligations, you should not feel you must visit every last one of our “reflections”. You can skip mine if you are busy as much as I love for you to come by. We are all going to become internet addicts if we don’t set limits. Like this weekend my kids will be here at our home visiting for my birthday and I won’t be checking my email or blog from Saturday through Monday. If there are any new posts up they will be set up to post on that thing. You take care of yourself, sweetie.

    I’d love to have you visit, but I’d have to clean house for two months before you got here. πŸ™‚

  26. Quilly, when you said that you may have to cut back on “pleasure blogging”, I think I told you not to because it’s so pleasing. Here’s what I really meant though- if it’s not pleasing, it’s not pleasure blogging! When it starts feeling like an obligation, then it’s not worth it anymore. And I’m the blogging Queen, so I know what I’m talking about here. πŸ˜€

    To answer the specific questions- 1) I regularly talk to myself. Don’t feel obligated to respond. 2) Won’t be heartbroken. 3) I’m a blogger. B-L-O-G-G-E-R. Not photographer. Since I don’t seem to get the point of being wordless on a blog, I won’t miss it much I suppose. 4) As beautiful as your photos are (and they really, truly are) I have the sky here too. πŸ™‚ If I miss it, I’ll look out the window. 5) I appreciate every single comment you’ve left at my blog. Even the snarky ones. That being said, see number 1 about talking to myself.

    In other words, DO NOT work yourself into a frenzy on my behalf. That just makes me sad.

  27. I love your comments on my blog and I love reading yours. But blogs are , as far as I am concerned meant to be fun. That’s why I have never locked myself into any of the special days. Short things like your reflections are fine but no long term commitments.
    But you have to ask yourself why you blog and what you want from the experience and act on that.

  28. Jeremiah — it helps to know that the newer people to my blog feel the same way the long-timers do. Thanks.

    Bill — that’s because you rarely come back to read the answers anyway!

    Polona — don’t disable comments! I LIKE leaving comments on your photos — and the snarky ones are supposed to be FUNNY.

    Amber — since I am hosting the challenge I will be visiting the folks playing. I will also be visiting my regulars. I just won’t be visiting everybody every single day anymore. You might only hear from me every other day.

    Brig — you don’t count. Our friendship has passed from the blogging arena into RL, so the parameters are different.

    Dr. John — you know, it helps a lot that everyone else is in agreement and won’t run off and leave me if I scale back. I can handle that.

  29. I Love your comments and I only have few. You do not have to reply to my comments. Keep blogging fun for you. I have ben wondering how you keep up.

  30. I would only be upset if you quite putting up your photos – they are always so interesting. Doesn’t matter what the theme is. πŸ™‚
    Take care of yourself first!

  31. Fingers on a door knob ! why not, lol ! Good idea.

    Blogging can easily become a full time job ! I just do the same as the Teach. I very much like certain blogs so I go there and usually the owner comes to mine too. There is a sort of blog friendship. All the others whom I only meet occasionally in memes and who very often don’t even read what I write, I cut out or answer comments only when I really have nothing else to do !

  32. Quilly, you’ve got me very curious. What do you use that tells you who exactly comes here? And is it a free download? Sounds like something I might like for my blog.

    I have my Reflections up for Thursday, but am going to bed before you put yours up, haha. I’m 3 hours ahead of you and often wait for you, but not tonight, my friend. Reba will put up her post in the morning. She’s out in her run right now and when she comes in will be going straight to bed after eating her cookie. We’ll be back in the morning to add us to your list of players, and see what you’ve posted.

    Night for now.

  33. Betty — I don’t KNOW how I keep up!

    Andrew — you are a very sweet man.

    Gattina — I have divided my blogging into three categories: 1.) must see daily; 2.) must try to see 3x per week; 3.) must try to see twice per week. I am also toying with the idea o taking Sundays of.

    Alice — WordPress comes with a bevy of wonderful features installed and at my fingertips. I love it.

  34. Quilly, as others have said, I like reading your anecdotes the best. I don’t think I visit much less than I used to (I visit every time I post on my blog and sometimes in between posts) but I definitely comment less often because I don’t often have much to say about posted photos that hasn’t already been said by the time I get here. I do like reading your replies to the comments as they are often very witty. The memes I don’t really care about and to be honest, I generally skim through them. I’m only doing Ruby Tuesday because I figure I can probably have a “legal” post without too much extra effort and it’s a way for me to ensure I at least post one blog a week.

    You would know that my blogging often takes a back seat to real life, so I would not be upset if yours did as well. You do what you have to do.

  35. Quilly, I am sorry you have been feeling pressure. I understand. completely. My traffic is not nearly anywhere close to yours but I have been feeling it myself. The question creeps into my head….if I don’t get to them as often will they be offended and never return?
    Here is my conclusion though…..if we are really building relationships here and friendships are all about loving and caring for one another where we are at…..then the pressure has to stop. In our face to face lives outside of blogland, when we have opportunity to visit with our friends we use it and when the time isn’t there then we don’t and it is all good.
    It may sound slightly snooty but do you ever remember you mom telling you when you were a child that if someone in your life has an attitude and you have done all you can do…then they aren’y worth having around as a friend anyway.

    As for what kinds of things you write and participate in….I think that writing is an extension of yourself. Sure the memes are fun and if that is an extension of you then that is great. I personally love the face time of real stories over checking of memes though. That doesn’t mean that taking lots of pictures is bad. Taking those pictures spurs on the creative juices and has its own value.

    As for visiting and commenting at other places. Maybe this might help you. This is what I do…… I visit a hand ful of people each day. On average that means that I get to a certain blog once a week. I read what I can, choose maybe three posts that they have written that really strikes a chord with me…and comment on those only. If I try to do everything all the time then it is not really me but just a check list instead.
    If you stop commenting to every reply I think that is totally fine. If there is a special comment that asks a question begging for an answer then that can be addressed in your next post or a quick answer on their site.
    Something I have been learning with blogging is that you personaly set the standard adn people roll with whatever standard you set.

    Hmm have I addressed all of your questions? I don’t remember but I sure wrote alot. I am just sitting here as your friend and cheering you on.
    Blogging is supposed to be a fun release not a hassle and chore. Free yourself up to do what makes you smile my friend.

  36. Jules — It isn’t the memes that I mind. It is the time it takes to go visit all the people, writes the comments — sometimes search for their posts because they have given the wrong links or put a half dozen new articles over the top. I don’t need the stress. I just let it go. I will do what I can, when I can, and I won’t feel sorry for what I can’t do.

  37. quilly. sorry, i had a couple of “away” days, and am just catching up here.

    i totally should have read you chronologically.

    i have no opinion to offer. you will do what is right. that is what we do. in the end, there is only that thing which we do.

    this makes a lot more sense coming out of my mouth in the light of day.

    do what makes you happy. πŸ™‚

    i frequently don’t get to replying to comments lately because i try to catch up on reading and then i get so *blooooody* tired i have to go to bed. so i know completely where you’re coming from.

  38. Quilly ~ I usually check the next day if you replied to my comment, I usually don’t reply to your reply but I do come back for a look.

  39. DON’T cut your fingers off. But I am probably too late anyway….

    You do what you want on your own blog Quilly. It is your blog. But I have to confess that I feel the same way you do. First thing I did – stopped the reader. This way I get to blogs more randomly, but feel less pressured. There is only one blog I am subscribed to and that was just curiosity because I *could* subscribe to it. Consequently I don’t get to visit is because it all comes in my inbox…

    There are just so many people to see. So many blogs to visit. And then the memes.
    So if it takes the pressure off you a bit – do it. Honestly there is more to life. Blogging is to be enjoyed, not endured.

    So enjoy it friend. I certainly will not be offended if you call over once in a while and catch up as I do to you. It is the only way I can cope with it all. If you are my friend, you know I still think of you and will get by when I can. But if you need me beforehand, I know you will email me because that is what a friend does. If I need you or want to chat, then I know where you are.

    Take it easy.

  40. Okay, here goes, going to answer this as truthfully as I can. I feel as if you are a friend, and as with all my friends, true friend, I personally just need to know that they are there, I don’t need constant communication, I just need to know that they are there, and that they are okay. Blogging is a means of communication, so for me the posts that I enjoy most are the ones where you talk about your personal life, what you are doing, pictures of the flora and fauna, anecdotes of your daily life. The stuff that some people might consider boring……I know that I hve been told I am boring for writing these things. haha. But it is what I enjoy reading. I am not into memes all that much, or flash fiction or story telling. I don’t know why, just am not. I like pictures of the family, the cat, just the day to day stuff. I find I gravitate to those blogs most. Anyway, I seldom return and read comments left after my own comments, unless I ask a question. In fact I don’t even really think that a comments is necessarily called for. Not unless there is something answered. I know that people like to have their comments commented on, but Dr John never returns comments, and we have grown to expect that and not care.

    For me it isn’t an issue, because I only have about four or five of you who comment on my blog, but if I had 70 comments, I know that I would have to stop commenting on comments, it would just be to stressful. And take up way to much time.

    So what was the question..? haha

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