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An Extra Reflection

My greatest stress with blogging has not been in finding the time to visit the posts of my friends. It has been in finding the time for the extras — visiting the new people stopping by; answering comments left by people who were obviously using a “copy & paste” format which more often than not blatantly had nothing to do with my post; and then having to search the blogs of these strangers or the correct post because they’ve left the wrong links or posted seven times since noon OR [worse] aren’t even part of the meme and are just trying to boost their hits by stealing my time.

The Arbys sign reflected in the view screen of an idle monitor across the breezeway.
The Arby's sign reflected in the view screen of an idle monitor across the breezeway.

Thank you all for giving me permission to ignore such people all together. I never at any time had any intention of deserting my regulars. Some of you have been with me long enough that you remember my start on Blogspot and my custom designed “cats in a garden” template.

So this is my blogging decision,: I have separated all my blogs into 4 categories. In category one are the people who visit me daily, or at least the majority of the days of the week. That category also includes the folks who have been with my since my blog’s inception. They are more like family than friends. Category one is my “visit everyday [if possible]” category.

Then I have category two. In the category two are my “regulars” who visit me haphazardly. Like category one, they are people I have a relationship with and don’t want to lose. I will try to visit the category two people three of four times per week. I will no longer read and comment on all (or most) of their posts. I will look at what they’ve posted since I was last there, and comment on the one or two that most strike my fancy.  That is what they do at my place and it doesn’t offend me, so hopefully my doing the same won’t offend them.

In Category three are the people who either visit or post very sporadically. Since they don’t post every single day and pile up the data [like I do], I can read their blogs at my leisure and don’t have to show up the instant they post. I will visit these blogs once, maybe twice per week.

My category four blogs are special cases. I will get to them when I have extra time or when I am bored. For the most part they are the sites where I lurk, or are writing prompts or meme sites. These are not places where I have [yet] formed personal attachments.

It has already taken a great deal of pressure off of me.  I can close my laptop, walk away, and return without Finding 66 posts needing my immediate attention.  Whew!

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. You’ve come up with a great system.
    I don’t post every day, as you already know. I usually post twice per week, then visit blog buddies who’ve left comments on my previous post, and then others who didn’t, if I have the time. It works out very well, and I don’t feel under pressure.
    Blogging should be enjoyable, not a job or a chore.
    I think your way of doing it sounds great.
    Happy blogging, my Hawaiian buddy!!

  2. *whew* wipes brow I am soooooo glad we got that straightened out! That is pretty much the way I do things too … except I never announced it… I just do it. I’m a Just Do It kinda girl! LOL! Seriously… I’m glad you’ve come up with something that makes you comfortable and happy… and I hope it makes OC comfortable and happy too!

  3. Well, quilly, I guess I fall into the very bad blogger category because I have two blogs and sometimes I don’t give the right link. So sorry to waste your time. I have my Day 6 up. I enjoy posting for your reflections. The link this time is correct! 🙂

  4. aw crap. i made category six, didn’t i. i KNEW i should have posted more than bi-monthly. dang. and i so shouldn’t have copied and pasted all those alphanumeric comments. sorry. will try harder in future.

  5. Jamie — I’ll be taking a bit of time off from now on, too.

    Melli — right now I’m wishing I hadn’t of explained it either. Oh well.

    Dr. John — thanks.

    Mary — the keyword was stranger. And I’m talking about the folks who are only out for blog hits, not for fun. Your comments are always original and on topic, and you don’t purposely leave links to blogs full of advertisements.

    Holly — seems like I left my reply to this comment on the other post. Trust me, you didn’t make 6.

  6. Quilly ~ You were my first regular to my blog soon after Dr John made me his Link for the Day oh those two long years ago. It was July of 2006. I remember your Cats Special Template you had and when your posting was on Blogger. I think you were one of my first Friends I linked on my blog. Thanks to you and Dr John I’d made some friends I consider as part of my extended family. You saw me through the Good/Bad/ then Good Again. I am glad I had you as a friend to Share it with.

  7. Go girl!

    I really should take a leaf out of your book. I do sometimes get stressed about these things and not wanting to upset anyone, end up sitting up till I don’t know what time of the morning trying to get around everyone. And then still missing many of my fave blogs. So know what you mean.
    About the copy and paste stuff too.

    My category suits me fine and I could never take offence from you. ;0)

  8. I think blogging for the most part should be fun, or at the very least a stress reducer, certainly not something to give us stress. I have walked completely away from blogging for a time,,,,just because it was giving more stress than it was pleasure.

    PS. My blog is so boring, I have no idea why anyone ever comes to visit, but I am glad that there are a few of you who don’t completely abandon me. There are about four or five of you who I feel to be friends although we have never met……you, and Bill, especially……

  9. Excellent idea! I have been pondering how to reorganize my blogs. Right now they are organized by main topic. I may have to borrow some of your idea 🙂

    Good for you!

  10. I just love your straight foward aproach to life! but honey, just say “kiss my grits” it’s so much easier than writing a page. 🙂

  11. Now that I’m back from vacation, I’m back in category 1. Hee hee. 🙂 I appreciate your comments through my ordeal. The one about your sister having had more than one surgery really pushed to making that phone call back home to the doctor on call to see if something was still wrong. I’m glad I did and had that additional surgery. So thank you for telling me about that. I feel great now. I’m gonna skim through what I’ve been missing here. Looking forward to being here regularly again. 🙂

  12. Bill — I didn’t think you read my answers to the comments because every time I post a sunset you ask the same question!

    Cath — now that blogging is back in the realm of “want to” and not “have to” I am feeling much better.

    Nea — but I have often wished I could have your attitude toward blogging. You come and go as you please. I’m afraid if I went I’d return to discover no one ,issed me.

    Minkydo — I looked at it as an energy investment ratio and balanced my gains and losses. One can only give away so much without receiving something back, money, energy, effort, etc. and arranged my visiting schedule with that in mind.

    Judi — I’m a writer. Besides, I was getting personal emails from folks worried about whether or not I was going to chuck it all and walk away.

    Robert — welcome home. I have missed your posts and your comments. I am glad my sister’s story helped. I’m doubly glad that you’re on the mend.

  13. Oh geez ! what a lot of explanations ! you don’t need to loose your time on that ! I go where I want to, I comment or not, my target is blogging must be fun !!

    Your reflection picture is very special ! and I really enjoy this very good idea of yours !!

  14. BTW I see you give answers on your blog, I never go back once I have commented on one. How do you know if people have read your answer ? I always answer per mail or on the blogs.

  15. Gattina — I am explaining because I have received several personal emails leading me to believe people were interested in my decision. You weren’t required to read if you weren’t one of them.

    And I don’t know that everybody reads my responses to their comments, but I know that many do. They like it and look forward to it. I enjoy the dialog. I don’t know why I am explaining when you’ve already indicated you won’t be back to see. I guess I just like to talk.

    Betty — except the stress from the [two] people who are nagging me about my choices. Pft.

  16. That is a cool reflection how you were able to get it just right so that the Arby’s is perfectly on the tv screen…just like it is supposed ot be there.

    I am so glad you figured out a system for blogging that takes the pressure off of you and puts the smile back on your face. Good for you. 🙂

  17. Glad some of the stress is gone – reading all these comments I hope none came back. 🙂 Whew…
    I don’t think I said it before – those cookie cutter cut and paste I ignore. I don’t go to there’s and they keep coming – it’s crazy!!

  18. Jules — thank you. You are the only one who noticed how I worked at lining that up. I think the coolest thing is how it shows up backward.

    Carletta — I prefer to treat people the way I want them to treat me, so I give them the benefit of the doubt and I visit their links. It has never been so overwhelming until recently, but as so many of my commentors pointed out, I have never before joined the memes the way I have this summer. I am taking stock of that, too and contemplating changes.

  19. You put an awful lot of work in commenting here, but I do come back to read them! I have no idea what category I’m in, and you don’t need to tell me, you stop by my blog much more often then I do here, so I guess I owe you! I visit as frequently as I possibly can. I recently reorganized my reader too!
    I enjoyed this reflection meme very much, and I’m giving it full attention tomorrow!

  20. What you need is a deli number system. Take a number and wait. 🙂

    Have a great weekend, I’ll be drying out and relaxing.

  21. Two things I would like to encourage you to add. 1) Make sure my blogs are on category 4. All of them. Even with my personal blog, I’m even sick of my own rambling. Visit less often, and maybe I’ll shut up! 😀 If you can’t bring yourself to cross it off the list, I’ll switch back to the template you don’t like. lol 2) Make these categories a little more flexible, but don’t tell anyone. Maybe you want to take a day off from a regular, and visit a newbie. I’m not keeping tabs on your whereabouts, so if you want to visit someone new, or even skip a day altogether, just do it!

  22. Good for you! Glad you got a system worked out that is something you can live with and helps you stay sane. And I so agree with Brig up above. btw-our kids are coming this weekend so from today on, my visits will be sporadic. I have reflection posts set up, but you don’t have to visit if you don’t have time. Actually, I think I have more reflections than we are supposed to have, but whatever. 🙂

    Love the reflection in the bike mirror and the story behind it about her riding the bike to school.

  23. I like your extra reflection on a reflective post. I think you’ve made the right decision – nobody can visit everyone, particularly on something as huge as Sky Watch Friday. I’m sure no-one with any sense expects that you should.

    Enjoy your blogging.

  24. the reflection in this photo (great one, btw) is just as it is supposed to be. blogging is just that and it’s not worth losing sleep over (hmmm… i should repeat that to self at times)… sharing stuff on line is great but there’s life outside the internet

  25. Glad you’ve sorted this stuff all out. 🙂

    I loved your cats theme, by the way. Your blog was, for a long time, the only blog I regularly visited that wasn’t someone I knew in real life. I fact, it pretty much still is, because the others I visit MUCH less often than yours.

  26. I used to feel the stress to visit blogs everyday. Now most of them are in my Google Reader and I just read them through there, when I have the time. I comment when I have something to say-but I don’t struggle to come up with something to say just for the sake of getting more traffic.

    It works for me.

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