He said, “Oh?”
“It says I am a spaceship!” She answered, then read aloud:
You’re so weird that you’re practically out of this world.
You are a total dreamer.
You are obsessed with conquering the impossible.
You are wild and adventurous.
You love thrills of all sorts.
You are a true sensation seeker.
You are always looking for that next high.
And then she added, “Can you believe that?”
He said, “Well, I don’t know. A couple of them sound pretty close.”
“What?” She queries. “It says here I’m always looking for my next high!”
“Yes, dear,” he answered, “But you know that doesn’t necessarily mean drugs. ”
“Fine,” she says. “But what about this, “I love thrills of all sorts?”
He moved from his desk to hers so he could clearly see her and said, “I’m afraid that’s true.”
“Well, okay,” she said, “I guess it is. But how about this wild and adventurous thing? It’s been a long time since I’ve ridden my bike off a cliff —
He interrupted, “Or moved to Hawaii with someone you met on the internet?”
She said, “That doesn’t count, that was you! Besides, I think I may have settled down some.”
He said, “Maybe you have — but I still think that remains to be seen.”
She said, “What about this part that says I am obsessed with conquering the impossible?”
He said, “Well dear, you are very tenacious about somethings and you don’t seem to know when to quit.”
She said, “I know when to quit. I quit when I’ve succeeded, and if I succeeded then it wasn’t impossible, was it?”
He said, “Yes, dear.”
She looked at him very closely searching for sarcasm. He maintained his most innocent expression.
She said, “This says I am a total dreamer!”
He nodded. “I’m afraid so.”
She said, “No, I can be serious, so this isn’t 100% true and therefore I am NOT a total dreamer.”
He said, “Yes, of course, dear.”
Again she stared at him searching for sarcasm. He smiled back benignly.
She said, “This says I am a true sensation seeker. Do you agree with that?”
He emphatically answered, “Yes!”
She said, “No, it’s wrong. I don’t seek sensation, I create it.”
He said, “It’s all the same. If you don’t believe me, let’s ask Doug.”
She said, “Doug thinks I’m all about self-promotion!”
He said, “I rest my case.”
She said, “So then you think this is true? I’m so weird I’m out of this world?”
He said, “Well, you are unique, but I wouldn’t go that far.”
She said, “No? But you just explained to me why you think every single point is true.”
He shrugged and said, “Well, dear, if the shoe fits …”
She lifted both her feet and waved them in the air. “Barefooted!” She cried.
He turned around and walked away shaking his head. “I always love it when you give me proof.”
Now she’s sitting there wondering what the heck that was supposed to mean?