I am quite worried about Amoeba. Last night in the dream world* I inhabit after lights out, he came home with the world’s largest egg carton — roughly the size of an 8 x 10 room, which he handed to me and asked me to hold. I did. And then he said, “Bring it over here.” I did. He contemplated and said, “No, no. Move it over there.” And I did.
I moved that 8 x 10 egg carton room mere milimeters, and I moved it miles. At one point, he had me balance it on top of the car and drive it to the other side of the island. I held it on the roof with one hand and drove with the other. That was really awkward, so I finally pulled the car over and decided to just drive the box. Amoeba told me that first I had to get cheap full coverage car insurance. I pointed out the the box didn’t look much like a car. We folded it into car shape. I called the insurance company and in no time at all they faxed a policy to Amoeba’s cell phone.
Once on the other side of the island, Amoeba found the perfect spot for the cardboard room, but it was no longer a room, it was a car and, apparently once you turn a room into a car, you can’t turn it back again. Amoeba was quite upset with me. I told him that I thought egg carton houses and egg carton cars were impractical anyway and as soon as it rained they would disintegrate. That made Amoeba so mad he started beeping frantically and wouldn’t stop until I stumbled out of bed and turned the alarm off.
*Note: strange dreams are common for people who have sleep apnea. Also note, I am not really worried about Amoeba on this side of dreamland.