Dear Mom & Dad,
You say I don’t understand where I learned to behave the way I do. Let’s recap:
Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. Goldilocks should have served time for breaking and entering, petty theft, and vandalism. Jack was a thief and a murderer.
Really, I think I’ve turned out pretty good, considering.
Your Darling Child