You Can’t See Him In the Dark Anyway

She: “Help!”

He: “With what?”

She: “I need to find something about David!”

He: “Sorry. Too late.”

She: “Too late? Since when?

He: “Since after sundown. About four hours ago now.”

She: “What does that have to do with it?”

He: “Just, like, everything.”

She: “Are you being difficult on purpose?

He: “Do you see an aquarium in here large enough to hold a porpoise? Even if one would let me ride it? Look. It’s simplicity itself. You said you were looking for something about David.”

She: “Yes. I was.”

He: “Well. It’s night now. For David, you need light to see by. Says so right there. Day. Vid. So you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow, after dawn.”

She: “Why, thank you, love. I won’t have to take out zombie insurance after all.”

He: “Zombie …”

She: “When they come to the house, all I have to do is push you to the door. ‘See? No brains here!‘ I couldn’t buy better protection!”