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The Saturday after Thanksgiving we always have a talent show at Sidewalk Sunday School. The kids show off for each other and we feed them Pizza and soda. The only way you can have an 11 a.m. delivery of seven large pizzas is if you place the order the night before. The thing is, I’ve been a little distracted lately and my mind skips off all by itself. I’m finding this rather disconcerting.

For as long as I can remember, as I’m drifting to sleep I review the day I just had, and preview the one coming up. Friday night just as I was on the edge of sleep, Connie Conscience, that little voice in my head said, “So, did you order the pizza?”

“Nope,” I mumbled.

“Say that again?”

“Not. Going. To.”

“Right.” Her voice dripped sarcasm. “Get up!”

“Make me.”

“Thirty kids are all going to be standing there holding empty plates and staring at you.”

“Crap! Why’d you have to go and plant that vision in my head?”

“That’s it. Turn on the light. I knew you’d do the right thing.”

Saturday morning when I woke I was relieved that Connie had made me order the pizza. Facing the children without it would have been horrible. The pop I’d purchased the day before, and it was already in the trunk of the car. I just needed to stop by the store for ice, and the church to get the kid’s prizes — harmonicas — and all would be set.

I got in the car and started driving. The next thing I knew, I was at a red light about two miles beyond both the church and the store. “Lovely. Turn around and go back, Idiot. And this time pay attention!”

I got my supplies and made it to Sidewalk safely. We were setting up and Brandon, holding the pop and ice, said: “Where’s the cooler?”


Milli said, “Do we have paper plates and napkins for the pizza?”


I picked up my car keys and walked away, assuring them over my shoulder, “I’ll be right back.”

If any of you have an extra attention span I would very much like to borrow one.

“She’ll probably just misplace it, too.”

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. If any of you have an extra attention span

    Sorry, fresh out. It was last seen chasing butterflies.

    But I’m sorry to hear that your Connie abuses you like my Carl. Have you read this?

  2. I’m sure I have senile dementia. I can’t remember anything anymore, so I make these lists and notes. Then I can’t find the note, or read the list. I’ll loan you some attention span just as soon as I remember where I put mine.

  3. I did not know there such a thing as an attention span….now…..who are you?

    Just kidding….I am wondering if you have too much on your plate?Sleep in today!!!!!!!

  4. I agree with lori, sounds like you are being wonder woman. Been there, done that and sorrowfuly learned my limitations the hard way. You must be one of the best teachers in the U.S.A. makes me wish I could come back to school. Wow that would really be rolling back the hands of time. lol Thanks for stopping by I do miss your visits (no quilt!) I have been frustrated with the new computer. On and off I somehow manage to bounce myself out of the system and don’t know what or why!!! Posted a horsey photo I took yesterday. Take care of yourself for you are a sacred vessel!

  5. I’d give you some of my attention span, but it’s get up and go has got up and left. The sorry thing is it forgot to take me along for the ride.

    I hope all turned out good in the end, abet a bit later than planned.

    You are truly a wonderful lady to do this for the kids.

    Wishing a Blessed Sunday for you.

  6. “If any of you have an extra attention span I would very much like to borrow one.”

    Damn you’re clever — and A Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you my fine feathered friend. 🙂

  7. Lori — by the time you told me to “sleep in” I had already been up for over 3 hours. I had a load of laundry done, my hair colored, had visited the blogs of all my friends, and was about to study my Sunday School lesson.

    Pauline — I wondered why you weren’t posting as much. Sorry about the glitches. Wish I was there to help.

    Jenn — you are the dearest friend, but I’ve noticed that yours doesn’t seem to work much better than the one I have.

    Bill — it seems that all of us have been deserted by our attention spans. I bet they’re off having a party somewhere and mocking all of us.

    Sar — if I were clever wouldn’t I be able to control my attention span? Still, thank you for the encouragement.

  8. I was getting upset that I hadn’t gotten any holliday calls from family. Then I called my mom and in the midst of the conversation she asked if I had turned off the ringer on the phone…duh, no wonder I hadn’t heard the phone ring.

  9. Jan — I do that with my cell phone all the time. I turn off the ringer for school or church, then forget to turn it back on for days.

    Charlie — pft!

    Gary — at least several times per day, however I’ve learned to ignore her to my peril.

  10. Quilly, you must have taken some because my attention span was like nil today. The microsecond I got distracted, I would forget what I was talking about. And then my friend would say, “and you were saying…” and I would look at her blankly and say, I don’t know. Was funny the first few times but after that it got a bit tedious…

  11. Last year I worked for a program called Gear Up at a local middle school. When the program was done for the year the other tutors and I decided to throw a party for the kids that participate in our afterschool program. I was in charge of paper goods, as my family ALWAYS has a stock of them. So I went home during my lunch break and gathered everything I needed, put them in a plastic bag…and left them on the table! I got back to work and realized my error. I didn’t have time to backtrack so the minute the last class of the day was finished I ran out the building and somehow managed to get out of the parking lot ahead of the busses…drove home in record time and then my mom was home saying “oh, you should have just called, I would have brought them over!”

  12. Hear-hear!
    I propose a National Add An Attention Span Day.

    We could all get together and expand our consciousness….

    Call me 2 minutes before so I can be sure to be there.

  13. Hillarious.
    The last voice of Connie was just perfection.
    I have that voice too. She is not called Connie though and she ainæt silent either. I call myself daft out loud and people consider a split personality a possibility in my mind 🙂
    But then there is always Hildegard, she keeps teh two of us in check 🙂

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