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Perfect? NOT!

For those of you who think I am too good to be true:

In the comments section of an earlier post, my sister, Caryl, wrote:

And now to that perfect part (I see the rest of the family just skimmed right over that) you are exceptional, bright, beautiful and extremely entertaining but perfect you are not. And if you want examples I can give them….may find them embarassing beyond belief though!!

Any of you thinking about bribing Caryl for those embarrassing stories just save your money.

Caryl, I hope I didn’t mess up your Christmas financing.

As to the rest of the family — feel free to jump in and defend me!


I wasn’t going to add this, but I want to explain the post. This is not what I had planned to run, but in my email I received this anonymous post (obsenities deleted):

You with your family all over the net pretending to love each other. You think you’re all that, don’t you?

Now, before you really do rush in to defend me, attacks from strangers don’t usually bother me, but this email, coupled with some family conversations about how “functional” we appear to be on line, and the teasing comments of perfection from a couple of my friends, I decided to address the issue.

I am an ordinary person with an ordinary family. The love you see between us is real. The disagreements you don’t see are real, too. We just don’t readily share those.

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. nobody is perfect. it’s our imperfections that set us apart and makes us unique. the trick is finding the ones that want us near and see us good through it all.

    you are still worth all the beauty and goodness in the world. you are still all that wonderfulness. you are still wanted and needed in all our lives. in mine.

    i wouldn’t want a perfect you or me or anyone. i wouldn’t be able to just be for i’m not.

    so my dear, be glad to be what you are, for in many books including mine and those of mine, you are still one of the bestest (good english eh?)..

    much love. XOXO
    Merry Christmas my sweet. i hold you dear to my heart and thank you for your friendship. God Bless you.

  2. Quilly-Sister, Whaaaa? Defend you from what? No, sister, you ain’t perfect, no one is – and human is as high as we are going to get on this planet! 🙂

  3. Chana — like you, I’ve no wish to be perfect. It seems to me it would be a very lonely experience.

    Jackie — that was actually an open invitation for the family to take shots at me. I know I’m not perfect, but my family always says such wonderful things about me, folks are beginning to believe I am not real — or worse, they think I think I’m, “All that!”

  4. Far as I’m concerned, Q, you are “all that.” — even if, like the rest of us, a bit imperfect.

    Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas, Quilldancer.

  5. Quilly-Sister, I don’t know why anyone would think you are perfect – I’m the ‘perfect’ one in the family. Must be, after all, I’ve never received anonymous posts with obsenities! And gosh, as you all know, I do think I’m ‘all that and a bag a chips’!!

    Seriously, that’s kind of sad, isn’t it? That someone that doesn’t even take the time to read the complete blogs, would write something negative to you. I’d venture to say, if anyone read the complete blogs of Cindra, Brooke, you and me – they sure wouldn’t think we were ‘pretending’ to love each other, or thought we were anywhere near perfect! Oh, well. Merry Christmas Anonymous.

  6. Oh, good lord. I think I’m going to vomit. To whomever it is that emailed you…I can’t use profanity over here can I? Well, simply take it for what it is…and let it roll off your back.

    Show me a “functional” family and I’ll give you one of my kidneys. And my firstborn. My husband comes from about the most functional family I know, and they still have their crap. We’re all human.

    You aren’t perfect Quilly, but you know that. Perfection is relative and to be “enough” is enough. I think going out in the public forum to try to defend some notion that we “pretend” to love each other on the internet is really screwed up. So, I won’t do it. You and the rest of my family have bugged the shit out of me from time to time…just…like…any…family. And I love you anyway, just as I’m sure you do me, even when I’m a pain in the ass.

    Merry Christmas one and all, and special wishes go out to the author of the email in hopes that they might find some joy in their life.

  7. Hi Quill

    I really feel bad for the one who sent you the anonymous email. They must be so unhappy and cannot have any love in their life. You know your family is more than your Blood Relatives. We are all one in God’s Family and I am glad you are my Sister in that respect.

    God Bless you my friend and just ignore this one who sent the hateful email. You have too many friends who care for you.

    Blessings wished for you.

  8. Al — thanks — you are too kind.

    Jackie — you are all that and a bag of chips — sometimes you’re just vinegar chips ….

    Cindra — you can say any damn thing you want. I love you.

    Bill — that’s kind of how I felt. I am glad everyone is wishing him or her a Merry Christmas.

  9. O my!! Someone sounds jealous and very sad!! And I will wish them not only a belated Merry Christmas but a wonderful fun filled 2007. And I do love my brother, sisters, daughters, sons, in-laws (yes, everyone of them!) neices, nephews and most of my cousins. As well as many of yours probably. I am mushy and sweet and huggy and kissy and also snotty and bratty and bitchy and probably (since all of those that love me say I am) a bit stubborn and bullheaded and quite the little ‘know-it-all’ Which does not stop me from loving all of you, supporting you and being your ‘cheerleader’ cause that is what families do. And we are all that!! and a double decker chocolate fudge brownie cake topped with ice cream and hot chocolate fudge syrup as well!!
    xooxox your lovingly devoted sister, Caryl

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