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Friday Follies

About an hour and a half after school started this morning, I checked my daily calendar. It’s routine. It’s always the same. Nothing ever —OMG — I was scheduled to attend a seminar as our school rep that afternoon, but I had forgotten to call for a sub. Crap.

I shot like an arrow to the Assistant Principal’s office to announce that I was an idiot in need of special help. Mr. F. assured me that I am not an idiot and special help would be provided, since I so often provide it for others.

When the time came for me to leave, Mr. F. himself showed up at my door. He said he would be my sub for the last hour of the day. I gave him an overview of what the kids needed to do, then I went to get my students from their special class. As we paused outside our classroom door I sternly told the kids that I had to go to a meeting, and they would finish the day with a sub. As expected, they began to whine.

I told them all that they were to be on their best behavior for the sub, or they would have to explain themselves to Mr. F. My kids are generally well behaved. They frowned at me for threatening them with the AP. I could tell by the grumbling they didn’t think they deserved it.

I ignored their grumbling, kept the frown upon my face, and opened the classroom door. They filed in. Both laughter and dismay drifted back out when they realized Mr. F. was their substitute. Jasmine came back outside. “I get it!” She yelled after me as I walked away. “Very funny!”

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. So, ‘fess up, Quilly. You’re going to do this again on or close to the last day of school, aren’t you? Get the kids all worked up about how they don’t deserve to be reported to the AP over a sub, and then march the kids into the room …

    where there’s one of those 50-foot sandwiches …

  2. OC — traditionally, at the end of the school year the fifth grade teachers, the AP and the Principal provide a BBQ for the students. It is their last year at our school, and many of them have been there since pre-k and/or kindergarten.

    We take the afternoon, play softball, cook hot dogs and hamburgers, eat tons of chips, slobber watermelon, drink way too much soda, run in the hot sun and throw up. It’s a blast.

    Cindy — you and OC would need to help pay for those sandwiches!

  3. Quilly………you reminded me of the time I was reading Tom Sawyer to my grade 4 kids. Another teacher and I convinced the kids we would take them on a raft trip, for our year end party, but firstly we had to build the raft. All day I kept injecting questions like, “Should we use logs or boards?”, then later I’d ask, “How many nails do you think we’ll need?”, etc. At the end of the day, the kids were so excited, we had to implore the principal to come in and explain that school insurance didn’t cover rafting. And I felt like Scrooge. We did go to a great aquarium. But, the kids thought the rafting trip would have been more fun………….J.D.

  4. Polona — every year I get a few who just arch their eyebrows and stare at me.

    J.D. — I am so glad you have “delurked” and joined the crowd.

    Donna — I am glad to have made you smile.

  5. Silver — ah, they would have behaved anyway, but this was so much more fun!

    Jackie — I did not. It was work. They did compensate us with very expensive chocolates though! (Relax, I only ate three; one when I first arrived, one half way through the meeting, and one as I was leaving.)

  6. Quilly you are too much, I loved the story. Tonight I am off on my adventure to Ontario. Keep a good thought for me “Chicken Flier” that I am.

  7. Melli — Mr. F. is just as onery as I. This little scene came about when I quipped, “I ought to threaten my kids and tell them that if they give the sub any trouble they’ll have to deal with Mr. F.” His face lit up and he nodded his head. “Do it! Do it! I’ll move so they can’t see me.” And he stepped away from the door window.

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