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A Tale Of New Cities

Y’know, it’s one thing when you yourself pull stakes and move to Honolulu.  But it’s quite another when someone else decides to throw in with you.  Really makes you think.  Like, here we are, planting ourselves on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.  What have we got to look forward to?  I started a list …

Mangoes.  Goes where?  I mean, c’mon.  I just got here, and you want me to leave already?  You call this hospitality?!?

No, I haven’t eaten one.  I ain’t even touchin‘  ’em.  The mango tree belongs to the poison ivy family, for crying out loud.  Yes it does.  For me to eat a mango, it would really be a rash act.

Papaya.  Now, I’m glad to see that the Great State of Hawai’i thinks good thoughts about fatherhood.  But I don’t see how that’s going to get us very far, unless they’ve got some mamaya hidden away someplace.  Look, Jesus of Nazareth may have walked on the water and risen from the dead.  But he didn’t give birth to no kids.

The myna.  The starlings of Hawai’i.  (Actually, starlings and mynas are close relatives on the family tree of birds.)  They’re everywhere, and they’re usually in your face, begging for handouts.  Or overhead, letting you know how they feel about not getting any.  Makes you wonder what would have happened if they’d imported the majah birds instead of the myna ones.

Or maybe, it was the Irish who brought the myna to Hawai’i, thinking that they’d stand in for the leprechauns which would have been hanging out in the forests and caves if the Polynesians hadn’t gotten here first, Neil.  I’ve been a myna for a heart of gold …

Hibiscus.  The rose of Paradise.  Lovely flowers, found in the hairdos of all the pretty girls – and some of the guys.  Man, don’t go there!  Trouble is, they’re all on tall plants, trees and shrubs and stuff.  That leaves a hole in the horticulture, dude, a lacuna in the landscaping.  Some enterprising botanist needs to invent discover a hibiscus that grows small and flat, so it can serve as a groundcover, perennially festooned with those lovely flowers.  Which the owner of a needy hairdo can simply reach down and get.

Of course, some snarky people would insist that any such plant be called a lobiscus.  I’m not naming names …

Aloha.  So low you can’t hear it.  I guess we’re not amused.  Proof positive that Hawai’i has a royal family.  Patterned after the British nobility, no less.  Victoria …

What was that you said about the airport, Quilly?  Hello?  Hello?!?  Sigh.  Oh well.  Plan B.  Taxi!

O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2007 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.


  1. Ahh! Guest blogger today!? (or is this now a shared piece of property?) I never knew mangoes were related to poison ivy… dang! That might explain a few things…

  2. Hey, I just looked up puntastic in the dictionary, it doesn’t exist, I’ve made up a new word. It works doesn’t it?

  3. Cute post, OC. Informative, too! 🙂
    After listening to Quilly for two days, I somehow doubt anything would make her miss that tryst at the airport.

  4. Thanks everybody. Quilly’s on the road, and shortly I will be as well. By Tuesday evening Pacific time, we should be resettled.

    Must be a girl thing, Lori …

    Melli, Nessa et al., if you like you can learn more about mangoes and rashes here ( – I’d give you a live link, but that’ll just get this reply tossed in Quilly’s spam folder, where she can’t get it, being offline most of the time this week. Mangifera indica is the scientific name of “the” mango tree. Yes, the “poison ivy” family is also called the cashew family – look up Anacardium occidentale on this same page.

    TLP, I don’t think the Dawg needs any help. You won’t believe it, but I wrote this a couple of days before Waking Ambrose featured the word. And I didn’t tell Doug. What he’s capable of on the order of Carnac the Magnificent ( is a secret known only unto him.

    Careful, Bazza, or you’ll become a diabolical lexicographer. 😉

    I hope not, Jackie.

    Said the bunny, hunny? 😉

  5. Quilly! You poooooor baby! WHERE is that fabulous new Laptop you got??? Don’t you know it should be CARRY ON??? LOL! I can’t wait until you are back IN communicado! Have a great and SAFE trip girl!!!

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