The Professionals

I called my landlord the other day and told him there was much agitation at our house because the washing machine wouldn’t.

“It doesn’t agitate?”  He queried.   I confirmed that it neither agitated or spun.  He said he’d be right over.

He and his buddy came with a couple of tool boxes, a moving dolly and a book on home appliance repair.  They pulled the washer into the middle of the carport, took it apart in pieces, and sat down and read to each other from the book.  Finally the landlord said, “We have figured out what parts we need to order.  I’ll be back tomorrow.”  Then they tidied up the carport and left.

The next evening he arrived after work, again with the buddy and the moving dolly.  They brought no tools, no book and no parts.  The landlord said, “We’re going to take this over to my garage and work on it in better light. ”  Since our carport has only one little 30 watt bulb, I understood.  I watched them wheel my washer away.

A couple of hours later they wheeled it back.  “We’ll hook it up,” the landlord said.  “It should work now.”  I was very excited and ran inside the house to get a basket of laundry.  I went outside with the laundry.  “Let’s wait,” the landlord said.  “We want to have it run a cycle first to see that all is well before you add your clothes.”

That sounded sensible.  I put the basket down and waited.  They turned the knob on the machine and watched it slowly fill.  Buddy said, “Why are you filling it with hot water?”

The landlord looked at the controls and said, “Cold water.  Says so on the dial.”

Buddy answered, “Come stick your hand in this.  It’s hot.”

The landlord stuck his hand in the water.  “Damn,” he said.  “I guess I hooked the pipes up backward.”  He pushed the button on the machine to stop the water.  Next he turned the taps off, unhooked the pipes, and reattached them correctly.  Then he reached up and cranked the knob to turn the water back on.  The cold water knob turned without a problem.  The hot water knob broke off in his hand.  “Oh,” he said.  Then he looked up at me and asked if I needed hot water tonight.  I told him I seldom use hot water for any of my laundry.  “Good,” he said, “Because I won’t be able to fix this faucet until tomorrow.”

Then he turned the machine back on.  Everybody  was pleased that it was filling with cold water when on the cold water setting.  Suddenly the machine started to agitate.  Both the landlord and his buddy jumped in surprise, then yelled, “All right!” and “Way to go!”

“What?” I asked. “Didn’t you expect it to agitate?”

“We weren’t sure,” the landlord said at the same time his grinning buddy quipped, “Of course, we’re professionals!”

I pointed at the repair manual in his hand. “Professional whats?” I asked

“Bullshitters!” the landlord said and everybody laughed.

It’s pretty convincing bullshit, though.  I am rid of my agitation and the washing machine has it’s back.  All is well in paradise (although the sink may disagree).

39 thoughts on “The Professionals

    • My scientist says that the detergent and the agitation and the drier all combine to take care of the germies. As long as the towels come out looking and smelling fresh and clean, all is well.

  1. At least in YOUR world they really did get it fixed! That is a true sign of Paradise! In my world, I call the professionals (seeing as how I AM the landlord) and they come and they go and it takes them at least a week to come back and then my washer is still not fixed …. and after we do that 2 or 3 times Dennis runs out and buys a new washer! Maybe I should be looking under “B” in the phone book instead!

    Melli’s last blog post..It’s All Greek To Me…

    • B — for buddy? 😉 It isn’t like the landlord had anything to lose trying to fix it himself — and quite a bit to lose (money) if he didn’t! Plus (they live next door) they offered to let me do any laundry that needed washing at their place. Lucikly, I didn’t have to take them up on that.

    • Alastair — me, too. Those are the kind of folks I grew up with. If my dad or my brothers couldn’t fix it, it likely wasn’t fixable.

    • Dr. John, one is a fireman and the other is a retired science technician, so they do have qualifications, just maybe not in the field of washing machine repair — though I think they’ve made a pretty good start in that direction! The washer is washing this very minute.

    • Silver — very hard to dig a basement in volcanic rock. Bwsides, the washer and drier are best outside in Hawaii — inside wet stuff tends to stay wet and mildew. Good ventilation is a must.

    • Lady — hmmm, I don’t think the washing machine actually said anything, but the sink may have loosed a cussword or two.

  2. If you are in paradise, does that mean you’ll invite us all over for some cheeseburgers?

    ppsttt… a working dehumidifier helps reduce interior humidity levels.

    • Oh! Cheeseburgers in Paradise? One of Amoeba’s favorite restaurants. I think if you can afford the trek over, we can spring for a burger — you;ve all got to come one at a time though!

  3. Amber — yeah, well, I have news for you. “Here watch this!” could have been my last words on a couple of notable occasions — which is why this episode so appealed to me.

  4. What cool landlords you have! They actually come when you call and they take action! Way cool. Hope their repair job is holding up. I’m so looking forward to having my washing machine where I can get to it. I don’t think it will be much longer now before they start working on the kitchen. Maybe next month. Yippee!

    Raven’s last blog post..The Saturday Wordzzle Challenge: Week 65

    • Raven — we didn’t accidentally end up with fnatastic landlords. There were several places we looked at that I really liked, which Amoeba nixed for one reason or another. Then we walked into this place — a 40 year old home spotlessly clean and in immaculate repair. I hate the kitchen and tried to nix the house (though I love the yard and the windows), but Amoeba said this was it, and he pays the bills, so …. It only dawned on me later that he knew the landlords would be the kind to show up the instant there was a problem — and they have been, and are very diligent about keeping the place in good repair.

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