Dude and Dude: Where There’s Smoke …



“Did you hear that announcement?”

“Which one? There’s lots.”

“The one that says that this is a non-smoking airport.”

“Makes me happy.”


“Yeah. No smoke means I can see where I’m goin’.”

“But …”

“But what?

“But I’m hungry, dude!”


“How can anyplace cook me a gonzoburger without makin’ smoke, dude?”



“Wake up and go to sleep, willya?”

Dude and Dude Fly United

We do not!!

“Yeah? You haven’t flown coach lately, have you, dude? ‘Intimate’ doesn’t begin to describe it.”

“Ew. How much for first class?”

“More than your payperblaug can afford, dude. It’s a crowded world. You want to breathe, you gotta be enough of a mogul to pay for it. Speaking of which …”

“Who you callin’ a witch?”

“Boil and bubble, dude. I was wonderin’ how you came by that face of yours. But, hey. I knew that Microsoft, your rave fave, was big around here, but does the boss have to splash his name everyplace?

“What’re you talkin’ about, dude? I switched to Windows 7 already.”

“And it almost works, too. ‘Course, compared to Vista, anything works. You were better off doin’ your word processing with stone axes. But look where we’re heading. ‘B Gates’. I ain’t seen such cheek since Donald Trump. And then there’s ‘A Gates’, and ‘C Gates’, and ‘N Gates’. Bad enough I gotta put up with Bill. Do I also gotta put up with all of Bill’s family members?

“Right, dude. You’d prefer that the places they park planes were named after your favorite computer billionaire? That dude J …”

Shut up, dude! You want to cause a stampede?!?