Dude and Dude

Dude and Dude: (Nothing) Sacred Song

/ Amoeba / 3 Comments

“Beethoven?”

“Yeah, dude. Somethin’ wrong wit’ that?”

“No way, dude, I just didn’t know you could. What d’y’use?”

“Huh?”

“For bait, dude. To catch the oven. An’ y’re gonna need some pretty heavy duty tackle.”

“Bait me any more, dude, and you’re gonna get tackled. Sit down an’ listen f’r once.”

“OK, OK, dude, I’m just tryin’ to save us some money.”

O sanctissima …

“WaiwaiwaiwhoawhoaSTOP!”

“Now what?”

“What the hell are they talkin’ about?”

“About Mary, mother of Jesus of Nazareth.”

“Y’mean Jesus, this half-Jewish, half-Roman guy? Kinda like Bob Marley – half black, half white, an’ people think he’s all that?”

“You, dude, have been watchin’ too many Monty Python movies* lately.”

“Them I can grok. This? I’ve got no clue what they’re sayin’!”

“It’s Latin, dude. You’re just gonna hafta do the best y’can.”

” ‘k …”

Audi nos O Maria …

“She sells cars?”

“Dude …”

Ora pro nobis

“OK, she’s a vegetarian car seller.”

“What?”

“You heard ’em, dude. She’s pro no beast. She’s either a veggie or she really hates pets. Either way …”

“Right, dude. And for your punishment, you get to hear the song again. Maybe this time I’ll get to hear some of it.”

“There’s always headphones, dude …”

O sanctissima, O piissima …

“TMI, dude! Way TMI!”

“Huh?”

“Dude, I don’t care how cool she is, I don’t wanna know ’bout her bathroom habits. I am outa here!”

* Monty Python’s Life of Brian alludes to the first-century CE story that Jesus of Nazareth was the product of an illicit union between Mary and an unidentified Roman soldier. – The Amoeba

Dude and Dude: Rockin’ My Sole

/ Amoeba / 10 Comments

“So tell me again what we’re doin’ over here, dude, ‘stead of our own place?”

“‘Cause this is about Quilly, dude. So we’re putting it where she can see it.”

“Y’sure that’s a good idea?”

“Sure I’m sure.”

“Don’t smell like it t’me.”

“Right. Come over here an’ let me oldspice up your life.”

“Not a chance, dude. B’sides. I thought this was about Quilly. It doesn’t have anythin’ to do with peas, does it?”

“Kinda sorta. Peace, anyway. An’ what it takes to have a peaceful soul.”

“Ew.”

“What?”

“Flounder stuffed with green paste. Can’t she do better than that?”

“Speakin’ o’ better, dude. I got a question.”

“Yeah?”

“She says each of us has an immortal soul. In fact, she says each of us is an immortal soul.”

“Includin’ you an’ me?”

“Well, virtually. Let’s worry ’bout that detail later, huh? Anyway. So. If each of us is a soul, does that mean we’re all well healed?”

“Only if y’toe the line! But I gotta thank ya, dude, y’explained somethin’ that’s been buggin’ me for awhile now.”

“What’s that?”

“I finally figured out what she means when she talks about the upper room.”

“Dude.”

Moved Out — Lock, Stock & Barrel

/ Quilly / 19 Comments

The Dudes have moved. They have finally grown up enough to get their very own place. They have taken with them all of your favorite posts from here and from O’Ceallaigh & The Quill.

They have their own address: dude-n-dude.com, and their next task — aside from entertaining you weakly weekly — will be to decorate the place.  I don’t know how long that will take them.  Right now they’re still getting used to all the space.

Please pop over and welcome them to the neighborhood.  And, if you happen to be one of the few who don’t care for Dude and Dude, go welcome them anyway keeping in mind that as long as they are there, they aren’t here.

In truth, I am a little nervous about the Dudes having their own place.  When they reside with either Amoeba or I we have the ability to delete them if they get too outrageous.  Who knows what they are going to do on their own?  It could be scary.

Dude and Dude: Credit Billity

/ Amoeba / 2 Comments

“Hey dude!”

“What?”

“How do you pronounce the ‘B’ in debt?”

“‘B’ as in ‘bounce’, dude? So help me, if you bounce a check …”

“Bounce a what?”

“A check, dude.”

“I don’t care where he’s from, dude. I ain’t gonna try ‘n bounce him. You think I could throw a fly out of a bar?”

“Not a dude Czech, dude! A bank check!”

“One of those paper thingies? They don’t bounce, dude. Not even if you ball ’em up do they make a ball. You even know what one looks like? I thought you paid for all your stuff online, like I do.”

“Whatever you do, dude, remember, we gotta look after our credit ratings.”

“No, dude. I won’t.”

“What?!?”

“I won’t be part of your spam schemes, dude. You want some dude to write your ‘You’ve won 1 million pounds in Welsh Lotto‘ comeons, you’ll have to get somebody else. Or do ’em yourself.”

“Dude, what are you smokin’?!? I ain’t doin’ no spam schemes!”

“But didn’t you just say that we gotta be lookin’ after our credit raidings?”

“Oh fer … Dude, that’s gotta be …”

“‘B’ is right, dude. You ain’t answered my question yet. How do you pronounce the ‘B’ in ‘debt’?”

“You don’t, dude. The ‘B’ is silent.”

“It’s not an ‘N’, dude, it’s a ‘B’! An’ I wanna know what it’s there for!”

“To remind certain dudes of my acquaintance that they’re gonna get stung if they don’t pay their bills. Dude.”

“Ow …”

Dude and Dude Do “The Potluck”

/ Amoeba / 7 Comments

“Dude! Ya gotta see this!”

“Wassup?”

“Food fight!”

“Where? Who?”

“Right here! OC and Quilly! Picnic and snack stuff! They’re givin’ each other the … um … they’re talkin’ ’bout fingers!”

“Nice save, dude.”

“Wonder which one’s tellin’ the truth?”

“Neither.”

“Neither?”

“Look. The dude’s restin’ up for next basketball season. Probably on his own private island or somethin’. Y’think he’s gonna take five seconds of his time to let anyone try to tell him ’bout this horsemeat?”

“Nah, probably not. But … horsemeat?”

“Dude, that potluck thing was hours ago. It’s dead by now. Instead of floggin’ it, we should probably cook it.”

“Ewwww, dude! Not kosher!“