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I hate looking for work.

Want ads.

Resumes.

Job interviews.

Stress.

At home I sit at the table in the dining room staring at my computer screen, revising my resume just a bit for each new job posting. I research the business names, peruse websites, package myself for sale — and I stress.

On interviews I sit in straight chairs in offices, uptight but trying to appear relaxed. Smiling, while fretting over each word I utter. Hoping that Secret can keep secret my nervous perspiration. All the while trying desperately to remember what I wrote on this resume and what I read about this company.

Stress.

Each time my phone rings I answer in my very best, most professional manner. As I lift the receiver I try to recall what jobs I’ve applied for, where. My eyes search the table and/or breakfast bar for my note pad and pen. Do I have everything I need to appear competent? (It’s an act, you know.)

Stress.

Then I raise my head and look out the window. Blue skies. Bluer seas. Palm trees waving in a gentle breeze. White puff clouds floating by. I am in Hawaii.

I turn my head, look at the apartment, compare it to the dump I lived in in Las Vegas. I think of OC and smile.

And the stress dissolves.

Life is good. A job will come. All is well.

No stress.

Quilly is the pseudonym of Charlene L. Amsden, who lives on The Big Island in Hawaii. When she is not hanging out with Amoeba, she is likely teaching or sewing. Or she could be cooking, taking photographs, or even writing. But if she's not doing any of that, she's probably on Facebook or tinkering with her blog.

15 Comments

  1. well
    i wrote what i thought was a stellar resume
    i took advice from some smart types (OC)
    and kept the language clear
    and not too fancy
    i didnt lie about anything
    i didnt trump up anything
    i didnt try to make myself appear more than i am
    i was honest

    i proofed
    others proofed
    all was as it should be

    i posted it on monster
    i replied to ads

    nobody
    not one person
    is interested

    i worry that im a failure
    but the three different people that i work for now
    have never
    led me to believe i do a bad job at anything

    im wondering if
    the three jobs that i have
    foodservice
    greenhouse retail shop/ grower
    and church secretary/office manager
    are so unrelated
    that its a bad thing…

    i dont know
    but i need a better job

  3. Quilly-Sister, it’s always hard not to stress when you are looking for work. I believe that what will be, will be. And that you will end up exactly where you are to be. Turn it over. Give it to Him. And then give Him time.

  4. Like your locale improved, like your living space improved, and like your love life improved, so too will your career life. I believe.

  8. Maybe you haven’t got a job yet because these jobs were all the wrong jobs for you. The right job – one that will fulfill you – hasn’t found you yet. When it does, then you’ll be a perfect match.

  9. The Weaver
    My life is but a weaving
    Between my Lord and me,
    I cannot choose the colors
    he worketh steadily..
    Oftimes he weaveth sorrwo,
    And I in foolish pride
    Forget he sees the upper
    And I, the underside.
    Not till the loom is silent
    And the shuttles cease to fly
    Shall God unroll the canvas
    And explain the reason why.
    The dark threads are as needful
    In the weaver’s skillful hand
    As the threads of gold and silver
    In the pattern he has planned.

    author unknown…
    hang in there you “will” find a place to flower; you are in paradise. Hugs!

  11. Noooooooo Quilly – You are NOT a dork! You LIKED the bottom picture best!!! (this means I just have to save the outfit until she’s in 5th grade…)

  12. Mike — I keep reminding myself of that.

    Melli — attitude is the apex.

    Mumma — I have a part time teaching job. VERY part-time. Eight hours per week.

    Pauline — that is lovely. Thanks for sharing it.

    Polona — paradi$e is expen$ive.

    Melli — you can save it, but it will likely be out of style by then and MUCH too small. Let her wear it now. The fifth graders will just think Luz is one cool little kid — and they’ll be right.

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