He Wants a Dolly

He, She and a friend were on their way back from Wal-Mart, where He had just purchased an air conditioner which He and his staff need in order to survive at work.  They were driving East on Interstate H1 in Hawaii (yep, Hawaii has Interstate Highways, but that’s a different post) and as they neared their off-ramp He said, “Hon, you want to call my lab assistant and have her meet us in the parking lot with a dolly so we can move this air conditioner?”

She said,  “Should I tell her to bring Ken or Skipper?  I know you’re not interested in having Barbie try to help.”

He said, “Better send Ken.  I don’t think Skipper is big enough to help.”

She said, “Yeah, but you know if Ken does any lifting, his pants are just gonna fall off.”

He said, “That only upsets you because he’s not anatomically correct.”

She said — “Upsets me?!  How do you think Ken feels about it?” —  at the exact same time Friend, who had obviously been zoned out in the backseat, hesitantly queried, “Are you guys talking about a real person?”

She said, “Mattel thinks he’s real but I don’t think Barbie ever bought it.”

He said, “Yes, dear, but Barbie’s morals — not to mention the rest of her anatomy — is plastic anyway.”  He paused for a moment then added, “Which, come to think of it, probably makes her as real as any other super model.”

She said, “Indeed.”

Friend, from the backseat sighed and said, “Okay.  I’ll think I’ll just go back to not paying attention again.”

27 thoughts on “He Wants a Dolly

  1. I vote for Barbie. Super Betty moved the old couch, by herself, this morning out to the road and the garbage me took it away. Now I believe woman can do anything.
    .-= Dr John´s last blog ..Eat Healthy =-.

    • Dr. John — but Super Betty isn’t built like Barbie and doesn’t walk around on deformed feet which only allow her to stand on her tippy-toes.

    • Yeah, Thom, we did. Got the thing into the place, set it up, got it running – and it proved to be about as effective as throwing an ice cube into Kilauea. Why don’t you folk just close the frickin’ university? It’s clear you don’t want it.
      .-= the amoeba´s last blog ..Typical Hawaiian Aloha =-.

    • Not about the subject, Melli, but the circumstances of the story. I have a laboratory full of temperature-sensitive critters (algae, bacteria, protozoa) which need to be kept under constant conditions to support half a dozen major projects, some of which are funded by businesses. The laboratory depends upon the central air conditioning of the building in which it resides for its operations. That central air has been down for a week now. It has been down because the good People of the State of Hawaii have made it impossible for its State University to keep up with its maintenance needs, and after 50 years of this parsimony, the core infrastructure has broken down. Repairs (which, if they happen to get funded, are dependent on parts available only on the US mainland, and, if bulky, are transportable only by boat) may take months – the University has yet to undertake basic repairs to many of its buildings that were caused by a flood in 2004. Meanwhile, the organisms – and, far more importantly, the team of people working on them, including me – labor in a windowless space with temperatures ranging from 85 to 90 degrees (even at night) that is too large to cool with a portable AC, probably with five of ’em. The one I did buy came out of my own pocket, and without telling anyone, for I’m sure the bureaucrats wouldn’t give me permission to put such a thing in place, even if there were funds available (other than mine) to purchase it.

      Y’might say I’m just a teeny bit testy. University education is going the way of the public schools in these Untied States, and we will pay the price. Maybe we should just bow down to the Chinese now, and save them the trouble and expense of burying us, commercially and militarily.
      .-= the amoeba´s last blog ..Typical Hawaiian Aloha =-.

      • Hmmmm… I DO see! Sounds like they should have started building a NEW university in about 2005 … then they might have been done just about in time for everything to fall apart on the old one… I wonder if some of the additional funds needed could be solicited from the businesses funding the research? But would that even be allowed… or does the money for bldg repair have to come FROM the State? (and thus allocated on whatever basis the state allocates such funding…)

        Honestly… I give you a lot of credit for stickin’ it out! The temptation to dump those petri dishes and get outta Dodge must be phenomenal!
        .-= Melli´s last blog ..A Great Day For A Meme… =-.

  2. This is hilarious! I love these kinds of conversations!

    My pilates instructor uses a term along these lines. When we lay on our sides with one hand above our head and our abs pulled in, our legs are slightly hovering off the floor. WIth the abs pulled in, this is a natural position for the muscles. She tells us, ‘okay, let’s start with Barbie neutral”…if you think about laying a Barbie down on her side, it makes sense!
    .-= Southlakesmom´s last blog ..Stop the Presses! =-.

    • Church LAdy — those dolls weren’t part of my childhood — although I did have a GI Joe. I don’t think he would have been much help though. He was terribly disjointed.

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