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Dude and Dude: Pastor Tense



“I see OC got a letter from the pastor.”

“The pastor?

“He’s not in trouble or nothin’, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I ain’t worried, dude. Just curious.”

“‘Bout what?”

“I thought OC spent his time lookin’ down microscopes and stuff. When did he start studyin’ history?”

“He ain’t, dude. And you don’t do that with a pastor, anyways.”

“Whaddaya mean, you don’t, dude? I mean, what does this guy …”

“Or gal …”

“Don’t get your hopes up, dude. What does this guy get up in front of people and do on Sunday mornings, huh?”

“Reads from a book, mostly.”

“Uh huh. A graphic novel?”

“I don’t think so, dude. Try the Bible.”

“Right. The book, by some people. And when’s the last time anybody wrote anythin’ in the book?”

“Um, lessee … about two thousand years ago?”

“Right. Dude, if that’s not the past, then I’m a DeLorean. And who better to learn about the past from than a pastor? So I ask you again. When did OC start studyin’ history?”

“About the time that a dude of my acquaintance inspired him to study the origin and functions of the delete key, dude.”

“Oh … yeah … right …”


    1. It’d be a lot quieter around here without ’em, Thom … and this island is supposed to be a peaceful place.

    1. “Hmpf. Dude thinks he’s so smart. Hey dude!”


      “Did you know that split personalities run in the family?”

      “What family?”

      “Which one do you think? The Cleavers, of course!”

    1. Karen, I suspect that if the pastor were actually to find out about this little piece of fiction, he’d tend towards an ecclesiastical interpretation of a Dalek. “Ex-com-mun-i-cate …”

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