Dude and Dude: (Nothing) Sacred Song

Beethoven?

“Yeah, dude. Somethin’ wrong wit’ that?”

“No way, dude, I just didn’t know you could. What d’y’use?”

“Huh?”

“For bait, dude. To catch the oven. An’ y’re gonna need some pretty heavy duty tackle.”

“Bait me any more, dude, and you’re gonna get tackled. Sit down an’ listen f’r once.”

“OK, OK, dude, I’m just tryin’ to save us some money.”

O sanctissima

“WaiwaiwaiwhoawhoaSTOP!

Now what?”

“What the hell are they talkin’ about?

“About Mary, mother of Jesus of Nazareth.”

“Y’mean Jesus, this half-Jewish, half-Roman guy? Kinda like Bob Marley – half black, half white, an’ people think he’s all that?”

You, dude, have been watchin’ too many Monty Python movies* lately.”

Them I can grok. This? I’ve got no clue what they’re sayin’!

“It’s Latin, dude. You’re just gonna hafta do the best y’can.”

” ‘k …”

Audi nos O Maria …

“She sells cars?

“Dude …”

Ora pro nobis

“OK, she’s a vegetarian car seller.”

What?

You heard ’em, dude. She’s pro no beast. She’s either a veggie or she really hates pets. Either way …”

“Right, dude. And for your punishment, you get to hear the song again. Maybe this time I’ll get to hear some of it.”

“There’s always headphones, dude …”

O sanctissima, O piissima …

TMI, dude! Way TMI!”

Huh?

“Dude, I don’t care how cool she is, I don’t wanna know ’bout her bathroom habits. I am outa here!”

* Monty Python’s Life of Brian alludes to the first-century CE story that Jesus of Nazareth was the product of an illicit union between Mary and an unidentified Roman soldier. – The Amoeba

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