Overheard

Amoeba and I boarded the ferry, walked up to the observation deck and took our seats.  It was a dark night and there was nothing of interest to observe outside so I turned my attention to the people inside.

I spied a rather frazzled looking mother.  She had two children with her; boys who were likely 3 and 7 years old.  They sat in a booth.  Mother put several toys on the table.  The seven year old shot out of his seat and ran to the window.  He cupped his hands around his face to look out into the dark night.

The little one slithered out of his seat and toddled after his brother. Mother yelled, “Jason come back here.”  Jason answered without looking back, “Go wif Step-hen.”

Mother closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them.  A smirk curved her lips.  “Fine,” she said.  “Stephen, come here.”

Stephen turned from the window and went to his mother.  She pointed at his seat.  He climbed on the the bench and slumped into a pouting heap.  “I hate being oldest!”

Jason climbed onto the bench and copied his brother’s posture.  “I dist hade bein’ o’dest, too!” He said.

Through the Window

The other day I left a comment on Gigi’s blog telling her that one of the things I love about living in Hawaii is never closing the windows.  I really meant that.  Mostly what comes through our windows is fresh air and the sweet scent of  Plumeria or Mock Orange Blossoms.  Occasionally something less appealing assaults us, like a booming stereo in a passing car (minor and brief), or an argument issuing from a neighbors home.  They are also usually brief, but they are not always minor.

Today I heard the boy across the street whining.  I recognized the tone of his voice, but not his words.  His mother’s voice came clearly, “After you finish your homework.”

More whining followed and again the mother responded.  “After you finish your homework.”

The kid yelled, “My show will be over by then!”

This time the mother’s answer was too low for me to understand, but I heard the child’s response loud and clear.  “I hate you! You’re stupid!”

The father answered sharply, “Don’t speak to your mother like that!”

The boy yelled back, “Why not?  You do!”

Then somebody female yelled, “Yes!” I think it was the mother, but it could have been the daughter.  I hope it wasn’t me.  I know I was thinking it.  I also know it’s been real quiet over there ever since.

Blind Date

I overheard this conversation while waiting to walk across the street at a Waikiki stoplight.  A young lady, on her cell phone, says:

“So this Joey guy shows up at my door and he’s gorgeous and I’m thinking this blind date thing might not be so bad after-all.  Then he takes me to The Steak House and I’m thinking like, oh wow, this guy isn’t cheap.  Then we sit down and he starts to read the menu out loud.  I’m flipping through mine and he says, “Are you listening to me?”  I’m like, I’m trying to read the menu, and he says, “I’m reading you your choices.”  Right then I’m thinking like WTF, but I find the page he’s on and follow along while he reads the F’n menu out loud.”

Pause while she listens.

Cell phone girl: “Yeah, like for real, like he thinks I can’t read or something! But it gets worse.  I ordered steak and calamari, right?  So, when the order arrives and the waiter puts it down in front of me, this Joey says, “Now this is your steak, and this is your calamari.”  He pointed at each of them and I know I am staring at him with my mouth open and again I am thinking WTF, and he says, “This is your vegetable and here’s your napkin.”  So he hands me the napkin and I say, like, excuse me, cuz I’m thinking he thinks I’m a real idiot.  He says, “Pardon?”  And I say, so what did you just tell me?  And he repeats, “This is your steak, this is your –”  I interrupted him.  I said, you’re kidding, right?  And he’s all, “No, this is your steak and this is your calamari.”  Then he picks up the knife and starts cutting my f’n steak! I couldn’t f’n believe it!”

Pause while she listens.

“Well, it’s like you know… So, yeah, I am going to see him again.  But you won’t believe what he did next …”

The light changed, the crowd surged forward and I will likely never know what he did next or why she’s going out with him again.  And, since I didn’t want to be the only one dying of curiosity, I thought I’d share the story with you.