You Can’t See Him In the Dark Anyway

She: “Help!”

He: “With what?”

She: “I need to find something about David!”

He: “Sorry. Too late.”

She: “Too late? Since when?

He: “Since after sundown. About four hours ago now.”

She: “What does that have to do with it?”

He: “Just, like, everything.”

She: “Are you being difficult on purpose?

He: “Do you see an aquarium in here large enough to hold a porpoise? Even if one would let me ride it? Look. It’s simplicity itself. You said you were looking for something about David.”

She: “Yes. I was.”

He: “Well. It’s night now. For David, you need light to see by. Says so right there. Day. Vid. So you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow, after dawn.”

She: “Why, thank you, love. I won’t have to take out zombie insurance after all.”

He: “Zombie …”

She: “When they come to the house, all I have to do is push you to the door. ‘See? No brains here!‘ I couldn’t buy better protection!”

Counter Fable

He: ” … and I did some sampling at the floor of the Pololu Valley, right about here. It was quite the hike to get down that cliff face, I’ll tell you.”

She: “Lovely. Can you come home now?”

He: “Love to. After they give me what I need to pay the rent.”

She:Sigh. I know. That makes sense, but …”

He: “I am not making cents!”

She: “Um … tell me something I don’t already …?”

He: “Absolutely not. That would be counterfeiting!

She: “And when did you start having this thing about carpentry?”

He: “Carpentry?”

She: “If you’re doing finish work, you want the counter to fit, don’t you? If it’s too big, it sticks out; if it’s too small, stuff falls in the cracks. Either way, the customer complains.”

He: “Oh. That. That’s how the breakfast bar got invented.”

She: “It is?

He: “Of course it is. ‘Dang it, boss, whoever drew these plans was clueless. This counter design don’t fit noplace!‘ ‘Relax, cuz. Just stick it out in the middle of the kitchen and throw a few high stools around it. They’ll never know.'”

Family Building

She: “I tell you, I don’t know where people get their ideas for naming their kids.”

He: “Yeah. There sure are some strange ones out there these days.”

She: “I’m not so sure today’s any different from yesterday, though. I’m still trying to figure out where some of the names in my family came from. But whatever it takes to make a home, I guess.”

He: “Well, I don’t know about a home. But if you do it right, you can use your family’s names to make a house.”

She: “A house?

He: “Sure. To lay the foundation, though, the first kid had better be a girl.”

She: “I don’t get it …”

He: “Florence. Then …”

She: “Oh good grief!”

He: “Don’t interrupt, it’s impolite. Besides, we gotta get this house up ‘fore it rains. Around here, that doesn’t give us much time. The sides are next. Need a boy for that.”

She:Sigh. Wally.”

He: “Hey, you catch on fast. Gotta be able to get in and out, of course.”

She: “Doris. And I need light in my house.”

He: “Winnie.”

She: “Just one? Have to be a big kid. I’m not sure I wish to be responsible for bringing up a child with an eating disorder.”

He: “Oh all right, three Winnies. Though they’re going to have a hell of a time at school keeping track of ’em.”

She: “Teachers wish to complain, they can come here and wash ’em all. Give them something to complain about.”

He: “Word. The next one’s going to have to be happy sleeping in an upstairs bedroom, though.”

She: “Why upstairs?”

He: “So all of us can have a Rufus over our hea … OW! What was that?

She: “A fork. I stuck it in you to christen you with your new name.”

He: “Which is …?”

She:Dunn!

En Garde-n

(Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba continues trying to (um) help with Quilly’s blog …)

He: “Where are you off to?”

She: “Just out to the garden. Going to get a tomato.”

He: “How?”

She: “Same way I usually do. It should be ripe enough to fall into my …”

He: “But how can you get it? Shouldn’t it be them?

She: “Oh, all right! Just for you, I’ll get two-matoes.”

He: “Worse and worse!”

She: “Don’t make me do something I’ll regret later.”

He: “Not my fault. For one thing, it’s not May, it’s October. For another, I’m not keen on toes at the dinner table, no matter what month it is. Talk about strangers in my soup …”

She: “You invited lawyers for dinner?”

He: “Yep. Dressed for the occasion, too.”

She: “In briefs??

He: “Too casual. Lawsuit and tie. And they’re staying for breakfast.”

She: “And what are you fixing them for breakfast?”

He: “Pop torts. Weren’t you going to the garden?”

She: “While I still can. You know what the worst thing about this season is, don’t you?”

He: “Yeah, said the rake. Autumn leaves.”

She: “And winter follows.”

Whale of a Good Time

Because Sunday was Easter, they celebrated her birthday Saturday afternoon.  He took She out for a drive.  They visited several of the most beautiful spots on the island. At one point they were on the north side above Lime Kiln Park. He took She there to look for whales (even though it is a bit early in the season).

She stood at the retaining wall taking in the vast expanse of blue water and blue sky before her. Even the Cascade Mountains were blue.

Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue.

She said, “I don’t see any whales — so you’re about to hear one!”

He said, “Don’t be silly. Of course you can’t see Wales. This isn’t even the right ocean!”

~*~

She had a very happy birthday, even if she did spend it with a smart-alec.