I Am From …

I am from creamed tuna on toast, from Red Ball Footwear, and church on Sunday. I am from the little white house by the gully, unadorned, unimpressive, filled with love.

I am from the piney woods, Syringa bush, sunlight on water, the Locust tree; wild, red roses, and mica stones.

I am from homemade noodles and perseverance; from Gram, and Lois, and Charlie; from Jean, Jackie, Caryl and Harold. I am from Aunts and Uncles and cousins and laughter.

I am from forgiveness and acceptance. I am from “try again”, and “don’t give up.” From “don’t swim for at least an hour after eating” and “wet matches won’t strike”.

I am from the little brick, First Christian Church on the corner of Fourth Street and Garden Avenue. From Lake Coeur d’Alene, silver mines and logging camps. I am from fishing streams, crisp clean air, and moose in the front yard. I am from meatloaf on Wednesday, and A&W Sunday; from The Grownups Wanted Us Dead, the school on the edge of the cliff, the farms on Mica Flats, and the strongest, most resilient women God ever forged.

I am from picture frames adorning white walls, albums, closets, trunks, and moldering boxes in my Aunt’s basement. I am from a two-inch thick genealogy manuscript depicting heroes and heels from England, to America and sea to shining sea.


This meme was inspired by Gawpo and my niece, Brooke.

Some People Never Learn

I’ve gone on many diets in my life.  Mostly what I’ve lost — on each and every one — is money.  So, why did I decide to try another?

This latest — and hopefully last — diet, has taught me quite a bit about myself and my healthy eating needs, so it has by no means been a waste.  And the book they gave me is quite good.  I am enjoying the class and talking to the other people.  Basically, I am not even having a problem with the diet — except:

I spent a part of my life homeless.  There were periods where I would go three to five days without adequate food.  Most days there were frozen apples still hanging off a tree down the road.  One had to eat them at just the right moment — still frozen enough to chew, but thawed enough not to break teeth.

During my homeless time pretty much all I thought about was food.  I was constantly hungry and I worried 24/7 about my next meal.  Even after I was no longer homeless or hungry, that obsession stayed with me.  I didn’t even recognize it until a few years ago.  At that point I started reprogramming my food thinking.

I do not have to clean my plate. I know where my next meal is coming from.  I do not have to over-eat.  I know where my next meal is coming from.  I do not have to worry about getting my fair share of everything.   I know where my next meal is coming from.  Just because there is food in front of me, I am not obliged to eat — especially if I’m not hungry.  I know where my next meal is coming from.

Last August it all finally clicked.  My eating patterns changed.  My food stress left.  Poof — gone.  I thanked God for the miracle and watched the scales roll back.  The weight was coming off at two to three pounds per week without effort. I found myself wondering what would happen if I applied myself — so I joined Curves.   The weight started coming off at three to five pounds per week.

So I decided to take the Curves Weightloss challenge.  They didn’t advertise it as a diet.  They said it was a class on healthy eating habits — which it is, but it comes with a 6 week prescribed diet.  Suddenly I am back to thinking of food 24/7.  I am weighing, measuring, recording — eating certain foods in certain amounts at certain times …

And even though there is plenty of food and I am not going hungry, I am constantly hungry — because I can’t set the thought of food aside and go on with my day.  I am headed once again for obsession mode — worse, doing things their way, I lost only 1 pound this week.  Losing one pound is better then gaining one, but it is not the kind of progress I was making pre-diet.

I will keep and use their book.  I will attend their class.  I will exercise — but I am going back to eating what I want, when I want, in reasonable portions.  I am no longer going to record every bite that goes into my mouth, or plan for my meals days in advance.  I will listen to my body and feed it when it needs fed — what seems tasty and right at the time.

Check back this time next week to see if my way puts me back where I should be.

A – Z Meme


I stole this from my adorable niece, Brooke, who stole it from Nessa.

A- Available or Single? – No/Yes

B- Best Friend? – OC

C- Cake or Pie? – pie

D- Drink of Choice? – water

E- Essential Item? – toothbrush

F- Favorite Color? – green

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? – Do they come in milk chocolate?

H- Hometown? – Coeur d’Alene, Idaho

I- Indulgence? – good chocolate

J- January or February? – July

K- Kids and names? – you’re kidding right? They number in the hundreds.

L- Life is incomplete without? – family, friends. job,

M- Marriage Date? – I couldn’t remember it when I was married. Don’t expect me to remember it now.

N- Number of Siblings? – 12 –  4 half-sisters (Jean, Jackie, Caryl, Sue); 4 half-brothers (Harold, Randy, Ronnie, Bruce); 3 step-brothers (Gary, Brian, Rick); 1 step-sister (Pam). Please note that Caryl, Jackie, Jean, Harold and I disregard the “half” as a matter of heart.

O- Oranges or Apples?– bananas or strawberries — no, bananas and strawberries!

P- Phobias/Fears? – failure

Q- Favorite Quote? – If you look confident you can pull off anything — even if you have no clue what you’re doing. ~ Jessica Alba

R- Reasons to smile? — OC, family (Jackie, Cindra, Brooke, Tom) , friends (see my blogroll!), students

S- Season? – Summer

T- Tag 3 people? – If you want the tag, it’s yours.

U- Unknown Fact About Me? – I don’t think there is anything I’m willing to share that somebody doesn’t know.

V- Vegetable You Hate? – canned green beans

W- Worst Habit? Procrastination

X-rays You’ve Had? – I’ve had so many I glow in the dark! Go read, The Grownups Wanted Us Dead, and you’ll understand.

Y- Your Favorite Foods? – chicken, shrimp, lobster,salmon , ice cream, anything chocolate, cheese, pasta — see food ….

Z- Zodiac? – No thanks. I am much too accident prone to think a rubber boat is a good idea.

I Remember Her!

My sister, Jackie, sent me this photo. See the huge glasses, the giant hoop earrings and the dangles on my shirt? I can’t see the pants but I imagine they were bell-bottoms. They weren’t jeans, my parents didn’t allow me to wear them.

I’m having a little trouble placing the exact time the picture was taken. That looks like a diploma in my hands, but Erin made me that blouse the summer between 9th and 10th grade. I have an 8th grade diploma, a high school diploma and a college diploma. I do not have a 9th or 10th grade diploma. (I bet no one does!)

Some day I will look like this again, only without the huge glasses, hoop earrings, dangles on my shirt, glossy hair and fresh skin ….

Thanks for the photo, Jackie!

Wasabi Miscommunication

I like horseradish sauce and I like hot mustard, so it only makes sense that I would enjoy wasabi, the Asian blending of both; however, given it’s nature, it is best to enjoy wasabi in minuscule amounts. Last night while I was eating sushi with wasabi for dinner, I was reminded of a communication meltdown between a lovely church lady and a poor street woman.

Pastor liked to bring unusual foods to the Wednesday night Bible Study and entice people to try something new. One night he brought a very large deli platter of assorted sushi. The platter included a bed of shredded ginger with a scoop of wasabi nestled on it.

When every one finished eating, the table was still laden with food. Only four people, including the Pastor and I, had eaten any of the sushi and wasabi, so most of it remained.

Shortly after we finished eating, yet before we started Bible Study, a homeless woman entered the church and asked if we had something she could eat. We gave her a plate and pointed her toward the table. Pastor told her to help herself to anything she wanted.

The woman went to the table and piled her plate high with fried chicken, potato salad and other tasties. As she came to the end of the line, she had no interest in the sushi, but then she saw the wasabi. “Guacamole!” She exclaimed. Grabbing a serving spoon, she scooped it all up. One of the good church ladies, anticipating disaster, shouted, “Don’t take all of that!” She rushed toward the homeless woman.

The homeless woman shouted back, “Pastor said I could have it!” And she shoveled the entire spoonful into her mouth. Wasabi fumes alone can put a hitch in one’s lungs, a mouthful of the stuff can freeze them altogether. The homeless woman’s eyes filled with tears. She gasped for breath and clutched at her chest.

Someone pressed a glass of water into her hand. She gulped it down. And another. Finally her tears slowed. Her face regained it’s normal color. The good church lady who precipitated the disaster said, “Are you alright?” The homeless woman screeched, “You tried to kill me!” And then she refused to eat anything at all. “You people are crazy!” She shouted as she ran from the church.