I just got my first text spam from a horrible person named Kirsten who wanted me to buy her new album. That text message just assured that I would not buy her album even if I wanted it. When Kirsten sent me that message she stole from me.
I am allowed X number of text messages per month. Kirsten just wasted one of them. Since I can’t hunt Kirsten down and shove her phone where she’d have a heck of a time reaching the keys, how do I protect myself from unwanted text messages?
I just received an email informing me there there are naked photos of my wife being displayed freely on the internet. This is supposed to concern me. Somehow it doesn’t.
I have also received an email assuring me that if I increase my penis size it will improve my love life, my self-concept, and my career. I am somewhat skeptical of these claims. I would like them to send me documented proof that this has improved the lives and self-concepts of other women.
And I have been offered the chance of saving $60.00 per year if I sign up for a two year membership in an online “every man’s fantasy” porn club. Sixty dollars is a lot of money to save, but even so this offer really doesn’t tempt me.
Yesterday Tilden’s blog, Tilden Talks, celebrated its first year of existence. I mentioned that to Amoeba this morning and he, excitedly, told me he wished to send Tilden — his sister-in-law — a bit of music to celebrate the occasion. So, Nancy, brace yourself enjoy:
Oceanic Time Warner Cable lost most of a state today. Something major went wrong with their network, and most of Hawaii was without cable TV and internet. I understand that Oahu wasn’t effected, but all of the other islands suffered the outage to some extent.
We were without net all day. Ella and I were forced to go to the beach against our will. We would have so much rather have stayed inside and blogged. (You believe that, right?)
… can’t be done. That’s why you are so late hearing from me. The hotel net crashed this morning and it took Oceanic Time Warner a couple of hours to get it back online. During that time Ella and I went out for breakfast (Amoeba is at work) and took some photos which I will share later.
In the meantime, as Ella and I were returning to the room and the elevator doors opened, a woman charged into the lobby and yelled to her mate as she quick-stepped past us, “Oh! I have to pee! I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming to Hawaii. You know when I smell the ocean I have to pee! Where’s the bathroom?”
Luckily, she spied the bathroom just as she asked the last question. Ella and I looked at each other as we stepped into the elevator. We might be strange, but we’re not that strange!